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March 13, 2002 - March 19, 2002 | Issue 38•09

Sociology 101 Assignment Stretched To Incorporate '70s Punk Rock

COLUMBIA, MO—A Sociology 101 paper on the theories of 19th-century French sociologist Émile Durkheim was stretched to incorporate the 1970s British punk-rock scene, sources close to the paper's author, University of Missouri freshman Justin...

Military Promises 'Huge Numbers' For Gulf War II: The Vengeance

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—At a Pentagon press conference Monday, Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld touted the military's upcoming Gulf War II: The... more»
Study Finds Sexism Rampant In Nature

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News

SAN DIEGO—According to a University of California–San Diego study, females creatures in the wild are excluded from pack activities. more»
Item Found In Garbage To Be Turned Into Lamp Someday

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News

MINNEAPOLIS—Joe Lennek, 24, a part-time pizza delivery driver and 1997 University of Minnesota dropout, rescued a three-foot length of metallic... more»
New U.S. Currency Expires If Not Spent In Two Weeks

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC— Seeking to stimulate consumer spending, the Treasury Department unveiled "QuikCash," a new U.S. currency that expires two weeks... more»
Scotland More Relaxed When Sean Connery Is Away

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News In Brief

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND— The people of Scotland felt a little calmer and more at ease Monday, when actor Sean Connery left the country to shoot a film... more»
Olympic Skier Stares Down Icy, Forbidding Slope Of Rest Of Life

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News In Brief

COLORADO SPRINGS, CO— Two weeks after returning from the Salt Lake City Games, U.S. Olympic skier Courtney Roth, 31, found herself staring down... more»
Home-Brewing Phase Comes To Long-Overdue Conclusion

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News In Brief

BETHEL PARK, PA— Local resident Randy Paltz's two-year home-brewing phase finally came to its long-overdue conclusion Tuesday. "Thank God, it's... more»
Man Can't Get Police To Care About His Bob Crane Murder Theory

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News In Brief

SCOTTSDALE, AZ— Despite his best efforts, Paul Bernardin, 38, has been unable to get the Scottsdale Police Department to care about his theory... more»
Microwave-Popcorn Bag A Maze Of Arrows And Instructions

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News In Photos
TV's Mork To Star In Film

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | News In Photos
It Was The Eighth Subscription Card That Convinced Me

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | Commentary

Every now and then, I'll pick up a copy of Sports Illustrated, usually when the cover story grabs my interest. But for all the times I've... more»
Shame On You, Wynonna Rider

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | Columnists

Item! A thief in Hollywood? Say it ain't so! Wynonna Rider, who delighted us in Alien 3, Welcome Home Roxy Carmichael,... more»
Horoscope for the week of March 13, 2002

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | Horoscopes

Though everything seems to be going fine between you and your love interest, you will be stricken with cancer to create dramatic tension in the third... more»
Botox And Beyond

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | Infographic

Botox, which eliminates facial wrinkles via a small injection of botulism, is all the rage. What are some other hot cosmetic procedures? more»
What Will We Eventually Get Around To Bringing In From The Car?

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | Statshot
The Andrea Yates Trial

issue 3809 | 03.13.02 | What Do You Think?

Andrea Yates, on trial for the drowning of her five children in the bathtub of their Houston home, has pleaded not guilty by reason of insanity. What... more»