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May 22, 2002 - May 28, 2002 | Issue 38•19

Man Who's 1/16th Irish Proud Of His Irish Heritage

KENOSHA, WI—Despite being just 1/16th Irish, Dennis Kroeger, a 27-year-old marketing manager whose great-great grandmother hailed from County Cork, is fiercely proud of his Irish ancestry. "Dennis sure loves playing up his Irishness," said Lisa Biederman, a friend and coworker of Kroeger's. "When he gets mad, it's his Irish temper. When he drinks, he's got a powerful...

Pope Forgives Molested Children

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News

VATICAN CITY—Calling forgiveness "one of the highest virtues," the pope absolved priest-molested children of all sin. more»
Factual Error Found On Internet

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News

LONGMONT, CO—The Information Age was dealt a stunning blow with the discovery of unreliable data on the Internet. more»
Handlers Desperate To Prevent Tara Reid Political Awakening

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News

LOS ANGELES—Tara Reid's management team is working feverishly to avert a potential political awakening in the actress. more»
Same Jumbotron Used For Marriage Proposal Used To Ask For Divorce

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News In Brief

CLEVELAND— Seven years after using the giant television screen to propose marriage, Kevin Kalish, 36, used the Sony Jumbotron at Jacobs Field to... more»
Fat Couple's Love Like A Fat Flower

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News In Brief

DECATUR, AL— The love shared by Gene West and Brenda Goslow, who together total nearly 600 pounds, is as precious as a heaving, bloated rose,... more»
Area Man Urinating Like It's The Best Thing Ever To Happen To Him

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News In Brief

FALL RIVER, MA— According to fellow urinators in the men's room of the Tip-Top Tavern, Steve Rilke, 44, is urinating as if it were the best thing... more»
Struggling Airline Helped By Friendly Giant

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News In Brief

FORT WORTH, TX— Hit hard by the recession and the aftermath of Sept. 11, American Airlines has received some much-needed assistance from a friendly... more»
Retarded Child Gets New Video Game Right Before Every Dinner Party

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News In Brief

KETTERING, OH— Jeffrey Dumas, a developmentally disabled 12-year-old, receives a new PlayStation 2 video game right before every dinner party... more»
Ancient Melanesian Masks Thundered Past To Get To Star Wars Exhibit

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News In Photos
Detroit Burned Down For The Insurance Money

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | News In Photos
I Know What I Should've Told That Judge

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | Commentary

Oh, man, is it too late to get a re-trial? Because I'm sure I could think of something better to say this time. They give you a second chance when... more»
Offin' Office Max

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | Columnists

Yo, this is a message foe all y'all wack muthafuckas at Office Depot: Step tha FUCK OFF, lest y'all wanna brawl wit' tha H-Dog an' tha rest of tha... more»
Horoscope for the week of May 22, 2002

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | Horoscopes

It may be years before your coworkers treat you with respect again, but it will have been worth it for the brief time spent in the panda suit. more»
Rolling Stones Hit The Road

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | Infographic

The Rolling Stones recently announced plans for a 40th-anniversary tour, starting in September. What can fans expect? more»
How Have We Brought Shame To Our Grandparents?

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | Statshot
What Did Bush Know Before 9/11?

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | What Do You Think?

Last week, a report revealed that President Bush was briefed on the possibility of terrorist hijackings several weeks before Sept. 11. What do... more»
Home-Improvement Tips

issue 3819 | 05.22.02 | Tips

Do-it-yourself home improvement can be money-saving and fun. Here are some tips to help you with that next project: more»