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November 6, 2002 - November 12, 2002 | Issue 38•41

Frat-Guy Boyfriend Not Like The Other Frat Guys

LAWRENCE, KS—According to University of Kansas sophomore Christine Errico, boyfriend and Sigma Epsilon member Troy Ausmus is "totally different" from the typical fraternity member. "Most frat guys can be pretty obnoxious, especially around women," said Errico, 19. "But Troy's not like that at all. If one of his brothers makes some lewd comment or something, Troy...

Republicans Mount Campaign To Rename Alzheimer's 'Reagan's Disease'

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Seeking to honor the former president and longtime Alzheimer's sufferer, congressional Republicans have mounted a campaign to rename... more»
India's Top Physicists Develop Plan To Get The Hell Out Of India

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News

NEW DELHI—Research has found that it is not only legal, but also economically viable, to leave India by December. more»
Second-Grade Teacher Overhyping Third Grade

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News

BERWICK, PA—April Niles, a second-grade teacher at Benjamin Franklin Elementary School, is constantly overhyping the third grade, warning her... more»
Former Couple To Remain Friends Until One Finds New Sex Partner

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Brief

MCMINNVILLE, OR—Bryce Tornquist and Stephanie Herrick, whose three-year relationship ended in August, are remaining close friends until one of them... more»
Tract Writer Cites God, Jack Chick As Influences

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Brief

STILLWATER, OK—Robert Welton, founder and sole employee of Inspired Word Christian Tracts, cites God and Jack Chick as the two biggest influences... more»
Teen Anxious For Cigarette Addiction To Kick In

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Brief

EVANSVILLE, IN—Ashleigh Davis, 14, who started smoking three weeks ago, "can't wait" for her cigarette addiction to kick in. "Right now, I'm... more»
Hippie Very Involved In Hippie Non-Sports

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Brief

AUSTIN, TX—According to acquaintances of the 22-year-old hippie, Chad Beresford is a frequent participant in hacky sack, frisbee, and other hippie... more»
Director's Commentary For One Night At McCool's Trails Off After 20 Minutes

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES—Director Harald Zwart's commentary track on the recently released One Night At McCool's DVD trails off after 20 minutes, sources... more»
Vacationer Checks Weather Report For Hometown

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Brief

SAN FRANCISCO—Vacationing with her husband Tuesday, Judy Keck, 34, scanned The San Francisco Examiner over breakfast, looking for news about... more»
Dog Doesn't Realize He Just Graduated

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Photos
Mesquite BBQ Visine Selling Poorly Outside Texas

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | News In Photos
Just Wait 'Til I Get These Fucking Rubber Bands Off

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | Commentary

Oh, man. You just caught yourself a whole mess of trouble, pal. Believe it. I don't think you realize who you're dealing with here. You might have me... more»
I'll Try Anything With A Detached Air Of Superiority

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | Commentary

I'm a pretty sophisticated, well-educated person. I went to Wesleyan, where I got my B.A. in comparative literature. I listen to This American... more»
Horoscope for the week of November 6, 2002

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | Horoscopes

After a grisly incident next week, specialists will need to use your dental records to identify all your cavities. more»
The Lynyrd Skynrd Crash

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | Infographic

October marked the 25th anniversary of the 1977 plane crash that claimed the lives of three Lynyrd Skynyrd members. How are fans marking the occasion? more»
Worst-Selling Fat-Free Foods

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | Statshot
The Russian Theater Raid

issue 3841 | 11.06.02 | What Do You Think?

During a hostage rescue, Russian authorities pumped gas into a Moscow theater, killing 116 of the 800-plus captives. What do you think of the... more»