mobile edition

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

February 12, 2003 - February 18, 2003 | Issue 39•05

|

Kids Excited

Kids Excited Mom Learning To Swear

PESHTIGO, WI—After a lifetime of assiduously avoiding the use of foul language, Helen Chernak, 59, is finally learning to swear, her delighted offspring reported Monday. "I was at Mom's this weekend, and the cat knocked something over," said Michael Chernak, 34, Helen's eldest child. "Mom shakes her little fist and says, 'Damn it, Felix! Get down from there, you...

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »