Celebrating 10 Years Online

THE ONION DISPATCH

DAILY
WEEKLY

More Newsletters

PERSONAL OF THE DAY



What Do You Think?

Nike's Million-Dollar Babies

After signing high-school basketball star LeBron James to a $90 million ad deal, Nike signed a 13-year-old soccer phenom to a $1 million pact. What do you think?


Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Gemini: The jury will not be moved by your argument that the term "escaped tigers" implies the intent was with the tigers.

Infographic

Bob Hope Turns 100

Bob Hope Turns 100

From Our Sponsors

From the Archives

Al-Qaeda's No. 114 Killed On Office Depot Run

August 31, 2006 | Issue 42•35

Minister Constantly Mentioning Teenage Son's Virginity

July 2, 2003 | Issue 39•25

Family Spends Awkward, Silent Quality Time Together

October 18, 2000 | Issue 36•37

Clinton Hurls Feces At Detractors

May 12, 1999 | Issue 35•18

Man Required To Wear Tie Decides It Might As Well Be Wacky

January 27, 1999 | Issue 35•03

© Copyright 2008, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
Powered By Rackspace