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September 17, 2003 - September 23, 2003 | Issue 39•36

Mother-Daughter Heart-To-Heart Devolves Into Bitching About Dad

GARBERVILLE, CA—A frank discussion of dating gave Elizabeth Kurden and her 15-year-old daughter Claire an opportunity to discuss the failings of husband and father James Monday. ..

History Of Rock Written By The Losers

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News

BOSTON—Dana Harris has vowed to chronicle the vibrant Boston rock scene, even if it means never having a social life. more»
D.C. Once Again Murder Capital, Mayor Brags

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Washington Mayor Anthony Williams bragged Monday that, after nearly a decade, the city has resumed its rightful place as the U.S.... more»
FDA Approves Sale Of Prescription Placebo

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Placebo is effective in treating many ailments, ranging from lower-back pain to erectile dysfunction to nausea. more»
Supreme Court Gets Free Box Of Shoes After Mentioning Nike In Ruling

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—The nine justices of the U.S. Supreme Court were treated to a free crate of athletic shoes Monday, following an offhand mention of... more»
Change In Bus Seats Taken Personally

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News In Brief

ST. LOUIS—Bus passenger Dan Pohl was offended by 26-year-old fellow rider Lana Peters Monday when she moved from the bus seat beside him to a seat... more»
School Friends Don't Find Camp Songs Funny

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News In Brief

SIOUX FALLS, SD—Friends of fourth-grader Kendra Tyler failed to find her songs about Eagle Waters Junior Camp funny, 9-year-old classmate Tanya... more»
Indian-American Couple's Accent Makes Fight Adorable

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News In Brief

SAN DIEGO—A witness to an argument between Indian-Americans Soumitra and Vineeta Chattergee reported Monday that she thoroughly enjoyed the vicious... more»
Revised Patriot Act Will Make It Illegal To Read Patriot Act

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush spoke out Monday in support of a revised version of the 2001 USA Patriot Act that would make it illegal to read the... more»
Stripper Not In Phone Book

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News In Photos
Vacationing Family Visits World's Biggest Asshole

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | News In Photos
I Totally Outlived Jesus

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | Commentary

Well, as you know by now, today's my birthday. A big happy birthday to me! Oh, yeah! Everyone knows what this day means: Pabst Blue Ribbon... more»
Ask A Man Who's Had One Hell Of A Long Day

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | Advice

Arnold Cardwell is a syndicated advice columnist whose column, Ask A Man Who's Had One Hell Of A Long Day, appears in more than 250 newspapers... more»
Horoscope for the week of September 17, 2003

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | Horoscopes

You'll be exonerated when the grand jury admits that you had no choice but to set fire to Grandma. more»
Eco-Vandalism

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | Infographic

The Earth Liveration Front recently made headlines by defacing SUVs. What other ations have radical environmentalists taken to further their cause? more»
What Are We Lying About To Barb?

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | Statshot
The Ban On Travel To Cuba

issue 3936 | 09.17.03 | What Do You Think?

The House of Representatives recently voted to end the decades-old restriction prohibiting travel to Cuba. What do you think? more»