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October 15, 2003 - October 21, 2003 | Issue 39•40

Tribesman Guilted Into Attending Friend's Boundary Dance

KOROMA, PAPUA NEW GUINEA—Huli tribesman Olene, 32, expressed annoyance Tuesday after being "guilt-tripped" into agreeing to attend his friend Gumaiba's boundary...

Lieberman Pledges To Gloss Over The Boring Issues

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News

HARTFORD, CT—Eager to distinguish himself in the nine-member field of Democratic candidates, presidential hopeful Sen. Joe Lieberman (D-CT) pledged... more»
Ex-Girlfriend Playing Virtua Fighter With Some Other Guy Now

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News

SOUTH HADLEY FALLS, MA—Area resident Troy Zuniga, 27, is troubled by the idea of his ex-girlfriend Chrissy Baker playing Virtua Fighter 4:... more»
Study Finds Cable-TV Violence Leads To Network-TV Violence

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News

LOS ANGELES—A two-year study of television programming has established a link between cable-TV violence and violent scenarios on network... more»
Deep Down, Woman Knows She's Watching Entire Trading Spaces Marathon

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News In Brief

WINNSBORO, LA—On some level, college professor Lynnda Dale, 48, knows she'll watch this Saturday's entire 12-episode Trading Spaces... more»
God's Gift To Women Returned

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News In Brief

TUCSON, AZ—Moments after unsuccessfully propositioning all of the female patrons at the Kon Tiki Lounge, God's gift to women, 31-year-old Patrick... more»
79-Year-Old Still Saving For Future

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News In Brief

OLATHE, KS—Frances Buntz, 79, continues to work diligently as a file clerk at Kansas State Insurance and save any extra money she can, Buntz said... more»
MacArthur Genius Grant Goes Right Up Recipient's Nose

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News In Brief

ALBANY, NY—According to friends, the $500,000, five-year, no-strings-attached MacArthur Fellowship awarded to Jim Yong Kim earlier this month went... more»
Bush Disappointed To Learn Chinese Foreign Minister Doesn't Know Karate

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—While he still plans to meet with Chinese Foreign Minister Li Zhaoxing, President Bush was disappointed to learn that the dignitary... more»
Schwarzenegger Elected First Horseman Of The Apocalypse

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News In Photos
OutKast Universally Accepted

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | News In Photos
I'm A Diseased- And Deformed-Animal Lover!

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | Commentary

A lot of people say they love animals, but then, when they come across one that has a scar, is a little bit skinny, or is coughing up blood,... more»
No Prison Can Hold Me, As Long As I Have My Imagination

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | Commentary

Why, hello there! Come and have a seat next to me on the sand and gaze out over the ocean at the beautiful sunset. Listen to the caw of the seagulls!... more»
Horoscope for the week of October 15, 2003

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | Horoscopes

You're finally entering the period of life in which the things that you want to do greatly outnumber the things that you will eventually do. more»
High Oil, Gas Prices

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | Infographic

The Energy Department predicted that oil and gas prices will remain higher than average through the winter. How are Americans responding? more»
Top Novel Dedications

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | Statshot
Schwarzenegger Victorious

issue 3940 | 10.15.03 | What Do You Think?

After the recall of Gov. Gray Davis, Arnold Schwarzenegger was elected governor of California. What do you think? more»