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December 17, 2003 - December 23, 2003 | Issue 39•49

Non-Widescreen Version Of DVD Received As Hanukkah Gift

BROOKLYN, NY—Self-described film buff Tyler Rosenstein was disappointed to receive a non-letterboxed "full screen" version of the movie The Matrix Reloaded as a Hanukkah gift, the 19-year-old reported...

Christmas Brought To Iraq By Force

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News

BAGHDAD, IRAQ—On almost every corner in Iraq's capital city, carolers are singing, trees are being trimmed, and shoppers are rushing home with... more»
Senate Carpool 'Forgets' To Pick Up Feingold Again

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—U.S. Sen. Russ Feingold (D-WI) was forced to find an alternate means of transportation to work Monday, because his Senate carpool... more»
So-Called Obese Pets Held To Unrealistic Body Standards

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News

CHICAGO—To the casual eye, Tippy might appear to be a regular Labrador. He loves sunbathing at the park, watching squirrels, and getting loads of... more»
Bush Won't Put Down New Football

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—According to White House sources, President Bush has not allowed his new Wilson official NFL leather game football to leave his... more»
Author Accepts Award On Ghostwriters' Behalf

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News In Brief

CONCORD, NH—Former Secretary of State Alexander Haig accepted the Worthington Literary Award on behalf of his four ghostwriters Tuesday for his... more»
Turkey Sandwich Given Locally Relevant Name

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News In Brief

FAIRMOUNT, IN—For the 87,836th time, a turkey sandwich was given a locally relevant name, Mary Anne's Café owner Mary Anne Gunday reported Monday.... more»
Network Pushes The 'Dumbing It Down' Envelope

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES—Already home to Extreme Makeover, Trista & Ryan's Wedding, and According To Jim, the ABC television network is now... more»
Vacationing Couple To Try Something They Don't Like

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News In Brief

CANCUN, MEXICO—During their two-week winter holiday, Howard and Rosemary Gortenski of Arlington Heights, IL, have signed up for scuba lessons, even... more»
Celebrity 'Caught' Smoking

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News In Photos
Burger King Hat Put In Deep Fryer

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | News In Photos
I Have A Dream: To Eat A Kentucky Derby-Winning Horse

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | Commentary

Brothers and sisters. more»
How Can I Use Feminism To My Advantage?

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | Commentary

Knowledge is power. In this competitive, male-dominated world, a woman must take advantage of all the resources at her disposal. Luckily, I found a... more»
Horoscope for the week of December 17, 2003

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | Horoscopes

What you thought was a folksy comment turns out to be the plain truth when wet, slushy snow and heavy winds combine to make for rough sledding. more»
North Korea's Nuclear Proposal

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | Infographic

North Korea said it is willing to freeze its nuclear-weapons program in exchange for U.S. concessions. What are the country's leaders demanding? more»
How Are We Cooking The Goose?

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | Statshot
Conservative Teens

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | What Do You Think?

Recent surveys show that today's teens are more conservative than the previous generation on issues like abortion and drug use. What do you... more»
Drinking Responsibly During The Holidays

issue 3949 | 12.17.03 | Tips

The holiday season is a time to enjoy family dinners, office parties, and get-togethers with friends. Festive drinks and tasty punches often... more»