Celebrating 10 Years Online

THE ONION DISPATCH

DAILY
WEEKLY

More Newsletters

PERSONAL OF THE DAY



What Do You Think?

Al-Qaeda Planning Attack

Last week, top U.S. officials warned that al-Qaeda plans to attack our country in the next few months. What do you think?


Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Gemini: The increasingly litigious and impolite nature of the times pays off for you when you become an expert hostile witness.

Infographic

Tornado Safety

Tornado Safety

From Our Sponsors

From the Archives

Government To Defend Marriage From Dashing Reginald St. Croix, Esq.

June 28, 2006 | Issue 42•26

Smoking Ban Collapses Fragile Prison Economy

March 31, 2004 | Issue 40•13

Area Man Thinking Up Funny Things To Say For Next Football Game

December 4, 2002 | Issue 38•45

Legislators Still Concerned About Key Non-Issues

October 13, 1999 | Issue 35•37

Strom Thurmond Drafts Bill Prohibiting Telegraph Porn

September 23, 1998 | Issue 34•08

© Copyright 2008, Onion, Inc. All rights reserved.
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
Powered By Rackspace