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July 14, 2004 - July 20, 2004 | Issue 40•28

University Implicated In Checks-For-Degrees Scheme

ANN ARBOR, MI—The University of Michigan has become the 17th institution of higher learning to be implicated in the checks-for-degrees scandal rocking American campuses,...

Series Of Serial-Killer Killings Rocks Serial-Killer Community

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News

INDIANAPOLIS, IN—Homicidal maniacs can no longer leave the house to kidnap a hitchhiker without wondering if they are next. more»
Report: Scientists Still Seeking Cure For Obesity

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News

CHICAGO, IL—In spite of billions of dollars spent and decades of research, scientists at the University of Chicago said Monday that the... more»
Bill Maher Spends All Night Arguing With Republican Hooker

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News

LOS ANGELES—Sources close to Bill Maher report that the comedian and host of HBO's Real Time With Bill Maher spent Friday evening arguing... more»
Nerd Has Most Obscure Crush Ever

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News In Brief

JACKSONVILLE, FL—The unrequited nature of area nerd June Manzo's crush on actor Peter Tuddenham, who provides the voice of piloting computer... more»
Child 'Very Sorry' For Slapping Teddy Bear

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News In Brief

CARY, NC—Arthur Hollis, 8, delivered a heartfelt apology to his favorite, most-special teddy bear, Raymond, after slapping him across the face... more»
Noisy Upstairs Neighbors Wake Man At 3 P.M.

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News In Brief

SAN LUIS OBISPO, CA—The inconsiderate residents of the apartment above Jim Bracker, 23, woke him from a sound slumber several minutes before 3... more»
Girl Slept With For Her Sake

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News In Brief

TULSA, OK—University of Tulsa sophomore Ben Stoll was gracious enough to sleep with third-year law student Rosie Andriessen Monday. "Rosie had... more»
Sheepish Secret Service Agent Can't Explain How Vacuum Cleaner Salesman Got Into Oval Office

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Secret Service agent Martin Bowhan was unable to explain to his direct superior how Electrolux sales representative Don Karn... more»
Copies of Da Vinci Code Litter Crash Site

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News In Photos
Alpha-Bits Now Available In Serif Font

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | News In Photos
Why No One Want Make Hulk 2?

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | Commentary

X2 come out last year. Spider-Man 2 come out last month. Both great sequels to great movies about Hulk friends. Hulk love great action... more»
Man, That Mourning Really Did The Trick!

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | Commentary

Hey, have any of you guys ever tried mourning? Like, after someone close to you passes away? Oh my God, you have to. Seriously, it's amazing. After... more»
Horoscope for the week of July 14, 2004

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | Horoscopes

People would have disapproved of your long-term career plans even if you hadn't carved them into the flesh of your enemies. more»
Ringtones

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | Infographic

Ringtone downlaods of songs are becoming a huge moneymaker for the mobile-phone industry. Why are they so popular? more»
What's Our Real National Pastime?

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | Statshot
Does Iran Pose A Threat?

issue 4028 | 07.14.04 | What Do You Think?

While Iran did free the British sailors it detained last month, the country is still threatening to restart its nuclear program. What do you... more»