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July 21, 2004 - July 27, 2004 | Issue 40•29

Study: Majority Of Americans Out Of Touch With Mainstream

NEW YORK—According to a study published by the Popular Culture Research Group Monday, the majority of American citizens are out of touch with mainstream American society. "We're not sure, at this point, whether this is a new trend or a continuation of an old trend," PCRG consultant Paul Van Lamm said. "All we know right now is that 70 to 85 percent ...

Secretary Of Defense Humiliated As U.S. Credit Card Rejected

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News

ST. LOUIS—An attempt to build international goodwill backfired horribly for Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld Monday, when he was unable to pick up... more»
73 Percent Of U.S. Livestock Show Signs Of Clinical Depression

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—According to a joint study conducted by the FDA and the Department of Agriculture, nearly three out of four members of the U.S.... more»
Divorced Branding Exec Generates Buzz Before Getting Back Out There

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News

CHICAGO—Recently divorced Saatchi & Saatchi branding executive Brad Stritch, 38, has already generated considerable buzz in the Chicago singles... more»
Some Sense Knocked Into Girlfriend's Son

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News In Brief

ENOCHVILLE, NC—Stu Ayden knocked some sense into the thick skull of 9-year-old Jesse Wilkerson Monday night. "Since Jesse's real father is not... more»
Garroting Survivors Call For Wire Ban

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—The nation's garroting survivors demonstrated outside the Capitol Monday, raising a hoarse but plaintive cry for a nationwide ban... more»
Area Man Bored With All The Porn He Owns

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News In Brief

BREAUX BRIDGE, LA—Gil Peterson has grown tired of his current collection of sexually explicit videotapes, DVDs, and magazines, the 44-year-old... more»
Work Friends Calling Bill 'William'

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News In Brief

BENBROOK, TX—Close friends and neighbors attending the backyard barbecue of Bill Hunkins were surprised to hear the host's coworkers call him... more»
White House Declares War On DSL Provider

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—The Bush Administration is awaiting congressional approval for an official act of war against high-speed DSL service provider... more»
Bill Gates' Wife Worried He's Lying In A Ditch Full Of Money Somewhere

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News In Photos
Coach Angry Every Player Gets A Trophy

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | News In Photos
You Mean I Could Get Paid For Writing Commercial Jingles?

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | Commentary

Slow down, Scooter. If I'm hearing you right, you're telling me I should quit my data-entry job and take up full-time what I've always done for fun?... more»
This Is Not The Time For Compassion And Healing

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | Commentary

Citizens, friends, and neighbors, we have come together today to reflect on recent events which have deeply wounded this community, and which will no... more»
Horoscope for the week of July 21, 2004

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | Horoscopes

The stars know it's hurricane season throughout the coastal regions, but the mounting waves of bear attacks should provide some variety. more»
The Democratic National Convention

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | Infographic

The 2004 Democratic National Convention will be held in Boston July 26-29. What is planned? more»
Why Are We So Much Better Than All The Other MCs?

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | Statshot
Chimps In Danger Of Extinction

issue 4029 | 07.21.04 | What Do You Think?

Researchers recently said that the chimpanzee, hunted for meat and threatened by deforestation, could be extinct in 50 years. What do you... more»