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March 16, 2005 - March 22, 2005 | Issue 41•11

All-Minority Postal Staff Undergoes Mandatory Diversity Training

ATLANTA—Every member of the racially diverse Pryor Road postal station's staff was required to attend a multiculturalism-sensitivity seminar Monday. ..

Neverland Ranch Investigators Discover Corpse Of Real Michael Jackson

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News

SANTA BARBARA, CA—During a search for evidence at the Neverland Valley Ranch, investigators discovered a corpse that has been identified as that of... more»
Despite Bad Press, Calorie Industry Projects Record-Breaking Year

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News

HOUSTON—In spite of seemingly endless criticism, representatives for the U.S. calorie industry predicted another record-breaking year in 2005, the... more»
Ten Years Of Life Dedicated To Getting Municipal Pool Not Built

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News

MANKATO, MN—The Mankato City Council voted 6-3 against the issuance of a $500,000 municipal bond Tuesday, marking the end of one man's tireless,... more»
Every Time Area Man Drops By, Friend Is Watching The Big Lebowski

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News In Brief

CLEARWATER, FL—No matter what time of day he stops by for a visit, Barry Jensen always catches friend Scott Dupre watching the film The Big... more»
AARP Blasted As Out Of Touch, Past Its Prime

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—A coalition of young professionals criticized the American Association of Retired Persons at a press conference Monday, calling... more»
Gym Membership Doomed From Day One

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News In Brief

LOMPOC, CA—The Bally Total Fitness membership purchased Monday by Alex Scarbe already appears destined for failure. "I really should go buy some... more»
Thwarting Of Arch Nemesis Leaves Sky Commander Feeling Empty

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News In Brief

NEW YORK—From his secret headquarters high atop the Chrysler Building, Sky Commander Rex Brady said Monday that he has been filled with ennui ever... more»
Inhibitions Found In Seedy Motel Room

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News In Brief

ALBANY, KY—Although he planned to engage in an afternoon of depraved extramarital sex with coworker Kara Lundy, businessman Bill Castille... more»
Bush Followed Everywhere By Line Of Baby Ducks

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News In Photos
Hot Rock-And-Roll Chick Totally Married

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | News In Photos
Unlock Your Employees' Profit Potential With An Improv-Comedy Workshop!

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | Commentary

What's your company's most important asset? The computers? Sure, you need those. The telephones? The office chairs? You need those, too. But your... more»
This Year's Oscars Blew Me Away

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | Columnists

Item! You could have knocked me over with a feather after the 77th Annual Academy Awards. It wasn't just because of all the Oscar... more»
Horoscope for the week of March 16, 2005

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | Horoscopes

You'll be justifiably proud after turning your office into a savvy, high-tech marketing machine, but that's before it flies out of control and... more»
Wi-Fi Access

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | Infographic

Wireless Internet access is growing more widespread, with entire neighborhoods and even cities offering residents the service. Why is it so popular? more»
What Are We Dyeing Green?

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | Statshot
Tougher Bankruptcy Laws

issue 4111 | 03.16.05 | What Do You Think?

Last week, the Senate made moves toward approving pro-business legislation that will make it harder for individuals to file for bankruptcy. What do... more»