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September 21, 2005 - September 27, 2005 | Issue 41•38

'Hanging Out' Continues To Grow In Popularity Among Teens

WORCESTER, MA—Parents and child advocates across the nation are voicing concerns about the dramatic increase in "hanging out" among American adolescents...

Oprah Stuns Audience With Free Man Giveaway

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News

CHICAGO—The season premiere of The Oprah Winfrey Show unleashed a surprise for viewers Monday, when host Winfrey presented her studio... more»
Bill Introduced As Joke Signed Into Law

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Sen. George Allen was chagrined Tuesday when a bill he introduced ironically actually passed Congress. more»
Bush Braces As Cindy Sheehan's Other Son Drowns In New Orleans

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—Dynamic, well-liked Tyler Sheehan was found dead in the floodwaters, much to President Bush’s horror. more»
Mötley Crüe Signs Sexual-Harassment Guarantee

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES—Mötley Crüe accomplished a music-industry first Tuesday, when band members signed an iron-clad sexual-harassment... more»
Publicist Schmoozes Wife Into Sex

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News In Brief

NEW YORK—Morty Jamison, 44, a successful publicist with Jamison, Laird & Connaught, successfully schmoozed his wife Lily into sex last... more»
Reporters Comb New Orleans For Heartwarming Story

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News In Brief

NEW ORLEANS—Journalists and TV-news crews continued to comb the wreckage of New Orleans for a heartwarming story last week. "We thought we... more»
Scalia Goes On Abortion Bender After Being Passed Over For Chief Justice

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News In Brief

NORFOLK, VA—Saying "Fuck this shit, I'm stopping beating hearts with my bare hands," Justice Antonin Scalia, overlooked for the vacated... more»
Fox Cancels Apatow's 40-Year-Old Virgin

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES—Executives at Fox TV canceled Judd Apatow's box-office hit The 40-Year-Old Virgin Monday. "We love Judd's work, but aging... more»
Tiger Woods Signs $15 Million Deal To Endorse Alex Rodriguez

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Sports News

NEW YORK—Alex Rodriguez, the business-savvy, image-conscious Yankees third-baseman, formally announced Sunday that he has signed golf superstar... more»
Kate Moss In Trouble

issue 4138 | 09.27.05 | American Voices

Kate Moss lost her contracts from H&M, Burberry, and Chanel last week when a London tabloid published photos of the supermodel doing cocaine. What... more»
Face Transplants

issue 4138 | 09.26.05 | American Voices

The Cleveland Clinic has begun interviewing candidates for the world's first face transplant. What do you think? more»
American Teens, French Sex

issue 4138 | 09.23.05 | American Voices

According to several recent studies, as many as two-thirds of American teens claim to have regular oral sex. What do you think? more»
Rising Luxury-Goods Sales

issue 4138 | 09.22.05 | American Voices

Sales of luxury goods are booming despite a period of near-stagnation in the American economy. What do you think? more»
Airline Bankruptcy

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | American Voices

With Northwest and Delta airlines filing for Chapter 11 bankruptcy, more than half of U.S flights will be made by bankrupt carriers. What do... more»
Hockey Returns

issue 4138 | 09.20.05 | American Voices

After a yearlong players' strike, professional hockey returned to the ice last weekend as the NHL presented the first exhibition games of the... more»
Native-American Realtor Doesn't Believe In His Job

issue 4138 | 09.27.05 | Radio
Nation's Cotton Candy Crop Ravaged By Carnival Weevils

issue 4138 | 09.26.05 | Radio
Computer Hacker Denied Access To Social Life

issue 4138 | 09.23.05 | Radio
Meth Lab Tests Confirm Dealer's Hypothesis

issue 4138 | 09.22.05 | Radio
ACLU Defends Nazis' Right To Burn Down ACLU Headquarters

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Radio
Wrestling Announcer Can't Believe What He's Seeing

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News In Photos
Evangelical Christians Enter 10th Day Of Vigil Outside Your House

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | News In Photos
As Long As You're Under My Roof, You'll Play By My Monopoly Rules

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Commentary

Son, enough of these complaints, all right? You're old enough to know by now that I'm in charge of this family, and anytime someone lands on a... more»
I'm Not Surprised Hitler Was A Taurus

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Commentary

While going through some old copies of Star Signs for my upcoming garage sale, I came across something pretty wild. Did you know that... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Horoscopes
Judging Roberts

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Infographic

Last week, the confirmation hearings for Supreme Court nominee John Roberts began. Here are the key facts Congress has uncovered about Judge Roberts: more»
Leading Contaminants In New Orleans Water

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Statshot
A List Of Celebrities Written Down & Numbered

issue 4138 | 09.23.05 | Sunday Magazine
September 18, 1954

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Onion In History

Gum In Our Schools!Children As Young As 10 Carrying Sticks To Class more»
Notre Dame Unveils New "Holding Jesus"

issue 4138 | 09.21.05 | Photo Finish
Barry Bonds Returns To Restore Baseball's Awful Reputation

issue 4138 | 09.20.05 | Photo Finish

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