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Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Sagittarius: Your discovery of Ponce de Leon's famed Fountain Of Youth will be marred by the unfortunate, simultaneous discovery of a half-dozen infants drowned in its waters.

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Updates: Wednesday 11/23/05

American Voices

A Raise For Congress

Old Woman
"Good. That extra $3,000 a year will help keep them away from the less-important bribes."


More American Voices

11/23/05 10:53 AM

Onion Magazine

Sunday Magazine: Eastern Religions

11/25/05 6:22 AM

National News Highlights

Roll over locations for news

  • HONOLULU—Remaining state tourism officials scrambled to spin the recent volcano explosion that covered the islands in unappealing magma in a positive light, but were unable to do so before choking to death on volcanic ash.
  • FARGO, ND—Nels Funderburke was observed to be in full compliance with local regulation I-4473 Monday when, as the last person to leave the state of North Dakota, he dutifully turned off the lights.
  • KING GEORGE COUNTY, VA—A life-size statue of former American president James Madison was unveiled this week before being ceremoniously spray-painted and defaced to honor the passing of the town’s oldest and most beloved vandal, Henry Wentzel.
11/29/05 5:02 AM

Stock Watch

Telly Phones

This startup continued on its strong path after its simple idea of making Telly Savalas-shaped phones, which is a good idea by any standard.

11/23/05 12:38 PM

This Day In History

November 22, 1963

November 22, 1963

Kennedy Slain By CIA, Mafia, Castro, LBJ, Teamsters, Freemasons

11/23/05 9:54 AM
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