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Rove Implicated In Santa Identity Leak

Rove Implicated In Santa Identity Leak WASHINGTON, DC—The recent leak revealing Santa Claus to be "your mommy and daddy" has been linked to President Bush's senior political adviser and deputy chief of staff Karl Rove.

"If this devastating l...

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Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Sagittarius: The pleasure you get from playing the two-finger waltz on the piano is astounding, especially considering it cost the life of an elephant.

Infographic

New TSA Guidelines

New TSA Guidelines

Opinion

StatShot

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Updates: Wednesday 12/21/05

American Voices

Michael Schiavo Starts PAC

 Old Woman
"Nice to see that a Schiavo is being persistent about something other than their vegetative state."


More American Voices

12/21/05 10:38 AM

Onion Magazine

Why Turtlenecks Are Back And Why This Man Is Crucial To Their Resurgence

12/23/05 9:12 AM

National News Highlights

Roll over locations for news

  • CUCAMONGA, CA—The city's mayor hosted those of Walla Walla, Kalamazoo, and Flin Flon, Manitoba, in a closed-door session Monday to discuss media portrayal and negative stereotypes of their cities.
  • WIDOWER'S HOLLOW, KY—The unexplained deaths of a henhouse full of white chickens has led to speculation among the largely uneducated local populace of a possible "Aryan Bird Flu" outbreak.
  • NEW YORK CITY—Organizers of an illegal coast-to-coast road race were unable to meet one another's eyes when the price of gasoline forced them all to show up in fuel-efficient hybrid Lamborghinis.
12/27/05 11:30 AM

Stock Watch

Northeastern Beer Helmet Co. (NYSE NEBH)

Consumer confidence in the popular drinking apparatus dropped this week when the helmet failed to protect SAE fraternity brother Scott Liston from permanent brain damage during his fall from the rooftop.

12/21/05 7:49 AM

This Day In History

December 23, 1997

December 23, 1997

Clinton, Paula Jones Square Off On 'Jerry Springer'

12/19/05 12:12 PM
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