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January 17, 2006 - January 23, 2006 | Issue 42•03

Maverick Hunter's 'Human Beings As Prey' Plan Not As Challenging As Expected

PERIL ISLAND—Big-game hunter Baron Hugo von Urwitz conceded Tuesday that his theory that human beings are the most cunning and challenging of quarry is seriously flawed...

U.S. Holds Going-Out-Of-Business Sale

issue 4203 | 01.17.06 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush has urged American consumers to get a piece of history, or just stock up on their favorite items. more»
Call Of Duty 2 Gamer Wonders If War Is Worth Dying 79 Times For

issue 4203 | 01.17.06 | News

PITTSFIELD, MA—Battle-hardened soldier-player Martin Avers admitted his commitment to freeing electronic Europe from the virtual Third Reich is... more»
Sean Penn Demands To Know What Asshole Took SeanPenn@ gmail.com

issue 4203 | 01.17.06 | News

LOS ANGELES—In an impassioned 1,900-word open letter, Penn said that every American deserves to be rightfully and accurately represented on the... more»
Real-Life Stranger On A Train Less Interesting Than Hitchcock Version

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | News In Brief

PATERSON, NJ—On his commute to work Monday, Patrick Highsmith met a stranger who did not entangle him in a torrid affair, cross-country... more»
Freudian Physical Therapist Convinced Dream Actually About Knee

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | News In Brief

WESTPORT, CT—Cal Eddards, a physical therapist who treats injuries through Freudian dream analysis, said her patient's dream of isolation and... more»
Corn Lobby Tightens The Screws

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Representatives from the National Corn Growers Association put the screws to several U.S. senators in a meeting held at an... more»
Gumption Rewarded With Even More Work

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | News In Brief

BROOKLYN, MI—Homex Plastics floor manager Mike DiCenzo, who often puts in 60-hour weeks to make sure his employer's small factory runs smoothly,... more»
Bush Urges Senate To Give Alito Fair, Quick, Unanimous Confirmation

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—President Bush urged the Senate Monday to act with speed, evenhandedness, and absolute obedience in confirming Samuel Alito to... more»
Patriots' 2006 Victory Parade Awkward, Sparsely Attended

issue 4203 | 01.19.06 | Sports News

BOSTON—Poor player attendance, negligible fan turnout, and a marked lack of general enthusiasm marred the New England Patriots' annual... more»
Second U.S. Mining Disaster

issue 4203 | 01.24.06 | American Voices

Two separate mining disasters in West Virginia have claimed 12 lives in the past month. What do you think? more»
Death With Dignity Upheld

issue 4203 | 01.23.06 | American Voices

The Supreme Court upheld Oregon's Death With Dignity Act, a law that enables Oregon doctors to help terminally ill patients die. What do you... more»
Latin America Leaning Left

issue 4203 | 01.20.06 | American Voices

With the election of Socialist pediatrician Michelle Bachelet in Chile, Latin America is leaning further to the left. What do you think? more»
Eminem Remarries Ex-Wife

issue 4203 | 01.19.06 | American Voices

Eminem, aka Marshal Mathers, remarried his ex-wife Kim, about whom he had written a song involving her murder and dismemberment. What do you... more»
Alito Confirmation Likely

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | American Voices

Despite a contentious hearing, Samuel Alito appears to be on track to be nominated to replace Sandra Day O'Connor. What do you think? more»
Brangelina Expecting

issue 4203 | 01.17.06 | American Voices

Angelina Jolie is pregnant with Brad Pitt’s baby. What do you think? more»
Cleric Issues Self-Serving Fatwa

issue 4203 | 01.24.06 | Radio
Aviator's Marriage On Auto-Pilot

issue 4203 | 01.23.06 | Radio
Area Man Breaks Out Dating Boxers

issue 4203 | 01.22.06 | Radio
New Partially Digested Doritos Eliminate Tedious Chewing

issue 4203 | 01.21.06 | Radio
CEO Needs $30 Million Aspen Home To Recharge Batteries

issue 4203 | 01.20.06 | Radio
God Worried Apocalypse May Not Live Up To Expectations

issue 4203 | 01.19.06 | Radio
Scientists Say Venom Taken From Politicians Could Provide Medical Benefits

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | Radio
Suicide Bomber Reacts Poorly To Surprise Birthday Party

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | News In Photos
Surviving Miner Ordered Back To Work

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | News In Photos
Your Offer Of Gum Seems Rather Disingenuous

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | Commentary

Can you indulge me with a few moments of your time? I want to address something that happened a minute ago. We were talking, quite civilly, and... more»
Hi, I Like To Cut Myself

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | Commentary

When I encounter people on the street or in the supermarket or at school, the first things they notice, I'm convinced, are the self-inflicted cuts... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | Horoscopes
A Million Little Lies

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | Infographic

A recent investigation revealed that James Frey's bestselling confessional memoir about crime and drug abuse, A Million Little Pieces, is... more»
Top-Selling Educational Baby DVDs

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | Statshot
Our Fragile Ecosystem: Can It Continue To Turn A Profit?

issue 4203 | 01.20.06 | Sunday Magazine
January 18, 1991

issue 4203 | 01.18.06 | Onion In History

CNN Deploys Troops To Iraq: 'This Is War,' Says James Earl Jones more»
Denver Broncos Fined $25,000 For Running Truly Naked Bootleg

issue 4203 | 01.19.06 | Photo Finish

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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s