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April 26, 2006 - May 2, 2006 | Issue 42•17

Kidnappers Realize They Have No Idea What Child Is Worth

SAN YSIDRO, CA—The weekend kidnapping of 5-year-old Brendan Adler stalled Tuesday when the two men responsible for his abduction announced that they have no way to gauge the current market value of the boy...

Grease Fire Rages Through Midwest

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News

MILWAUKEE—Baking soda supplies are diminishing as flames are leaving behind only the medium-well remains of America's greasy heartland. more»
Scholars Discover 23 Blank Pages That May As Well Be Lost Samuel Beckett Play

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News

PARIS—The pages could represent the bleakness of life and might even be the inimitable Nobel Prize winner's greatest masterpiece. more»
Search For Wallet Self-Narrated

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News

YPSILANTI, MI—Dramatic pauses, bursts of emotion and unrestrained shouting distinguished Kevin McCormick's meticulous soliloquy. more»
Bush Calls Cabinet Meeting To Get Story Straight

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—With his administration dogged by criminal allegations, President Bush called a special Cabinet meeting Tuesday to ensure that... more»
EPA Didn't Know Anybody Was Still Drinking Water

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Environmental Protection Agency Administrator Stephen Johnson apologized during a press conference Tuesday for what critics... more»
Calculus Problem Hits Too Close To Home

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News In Brief

PULLMAN, WA–The analysis of formulae derived from the fundamental theorem of calculus had a profound and seemingly personal impact on... more»
Returned 2004 World Series Ball: 'Doug Mientkiewicz Physically And Mentally Abused Me'

issue 4217 | 04.27.06 | Sports News

BOSTON—The baseball that made the final out in the 2004 World Series has been returned to its rightful owners, capping off a tumultuous 18... more»
Diamond Dave Axed Again

issue 4217 | 05.02.06 | American Voices

David Lee Roth was fired from his spot as a replacement morning-radio personality for Howard Stern after less than three months. What do you... more»
Bush's New Press Secretary

issue 4217 | 05.01.06 | American Voices

Fox News anchor Tony Snow was just named the new White House Press Secretary. What do you think? more»
Mexican Immigrants Call For A Day of Action

issue 4217 | 04.28.06 | American Voices

May 1st will be the next "Day of Action" in which Latino activists will take to the streets to protest restrictive policies against Mexican... more»
Gitmo Prisoner Names Released

issue 4217 | 04.27.06 | American Voices

The U.S government released the first list of detainees at the Guantanamo Bay prison on Wednesday, the most extensive accounting yet of the... more»
Harvard Author Caught Plagiarizing

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | American Voices

Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan, who was paid the largest advance for an unpublished author, admitted to having "unintentionally" borrowed... more»
New Bill Will Send Illegal Immigrants To Iraq

issue 4217 | 05.02.06 | Radio
Russian-Folk-Festival Crowd Unknowingly Claps Along To Ode To Sodomy

issue 4217 | 05.01.06 | Radio
Annoying Ad Turns Man Pro-Whaling

issue 4217 | 04.30.06 | Radio
New KFC Employee Takes Fry-Q Test In Employee Manual

issue 4217 | 04.29.06 | Radio
President Bush Gives Zambia Emergency Cell Phone

issue 4217 | 04.28.06 | Radio
Doctor-Patient Relationship Getting Serious

issue 4217 | 04.27.06 | Radio
Director Decides Against Casting Method Actor In 'Director Killer' Role

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | Radio
Amazon 1-Click Bankrupts Area Parkinson's Sufferer

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News In Photos
Jessica Alba Saving Money For When Audience Turns On Her

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | News In Photos
Is Opening Week Too Soon To See A 9/11 Movie?

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | Commentary

Has enough time passed since we first witnessed the awful event of the United 93 trailer to confront the full-length movie of... more»
Fabulous Trash

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | Columnists

Hmm...let's see how I'm doing on the New Year's resolutions so far: Well, I'm proud to say that I've stayed true and haven't had a... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | Horoscopes
Other Enron Scams

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | Infographic
Alternate New Hampshire State Mottos

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | Statshot
Crack Nearly Killed Me

issue 4217 | 04.28.06 | Sunday Magazine
April 24, 1995

issue 4217 | 04.26.06 | Onion In History

Al Gore Caught In Love Tryst With Endangered Tree Owl more»
A-Rod Asks For Shinier Helmet

issue 4217 | 04.27.06 | Photo Finish

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

Kidnappers Realize They Have No Idea What Child Is Worth

Grease Fire Rages Through Midwest

Scholars Discover 23 Blank Pages That May As Well Be Lost Samuel Beckett Play

Search For Wallet Self-Narrated

Bush Calls Cabinet Meeting To Get Story Straight

EPA Didn't Know Anybody Was Still Drinking Water

Calculus Problem Hits Too Close To Home

Returned 2004 World Series Ball: 'Doug Mientkiewicz Physically And Mentally Abused Me'

Diamond Dave Axed Again

Bush's New Press Secretary

Mexican Immigrants Call For A Day of Action

Gitmo Prisoner Names Released

Harvard Author Caught Plagiarizing

New Bill Will Send Illegal Immigrants To Iraq

Russian-Folk-Festival Crowd Unknowingly Claps Along To Ode To Sodomy

Annoying Ad Turns Man Pro-Whaling

New KFC Employee Takes Fry-Q Test In Employee Manual

President Bush Gives Zambia Emergency Cell Phone

Doctor-Patient Relationship Getting Serious

Director Decides Against Casting Method Actor In 'Director Killer' Role

Amazon 1-Click Bankrupts Area Parkinson's Sufferer

Jessica Alba Saving Money For When Audience Turns On Her

Is Opening Week Too Soon To See A 9/11 Movie?

Fabulous Trash

Your Horoscope

Other Enron Scams

Alternate New Hampshire State Mottos

Crack Nearly Killed Me

April 24, 1995

A-Rod Asks For Shinier Helmet

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