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July 18, 2006 - July 24, 2006 | Issue 42•29

Marriage Teeming With Sexual Tension

TRAVERSE CITY, MI—Although both believe that a romantic affair would only complicate their daily interaction with each other, Troy and Tania Knudsen find it more and more challenging not to act on a powerful mutual sexual attraction, sources close to the married couple said...

U.S. Trendsetters Go On Strike

issue 4229 | 07.18.06 | News

NEW YORK—The country's chillest and illest want recognition for what you're saying, wearing, and doing. more»
Scratch 'N Win Ballots To Debut In November

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | News

WASHINGTON DC—The next election's Powerballot grand prize in participating states will be 250 million votes. more»
$18 Payment To Sponsored Child Withheld To Teach Child A Lesson

issue 4229 | 07.17.06 | News

FAIRFAX, VA&mdashSave-A-Child father Gene Anderson says Mtumbe needs to learn to save for his future and not spend money on every childish little... more»
International Atom Registry Allows Customers To Name Atom After Loved One

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | News In Brief

HOT SPRINGS, AR—For only $26.75, customers worldwide can now honor their loved ones by naming an individual atom after them, executives... more»
Child Assured Most Monsters Do Not Exist

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | News In Brief

MOSCOW, ID—Four-year-old Roy MacMillan, a frequent observer of monsters in his closet, under his bed, and behind his drapes, was... more»
Old Gypsy Woman Run Over Without Consequence

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | News In Brief

CHICAGO—Area motorist Moe Balaczs is not showing any signs of weight loss, suppurating lesions, dementia, blindness, or any other... more»
Bush Quietly Rolls Back Iraq Death Toll To Zero

issue 4229 | 07.18.06 | News In Brief

BAGHDAD—Nearly two weeks after President Bush's surprise visit to Iraq, the first American combat death in the region has occurred,... more»
Deadlocked Supreme Court: 'Someone's Voting Twice'

issue 4229 | 07.17.06 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC- The Supreme Court's third 5-5 vote in the past month has some justices wondering whether one of their number is voting twice.... more»
Perfect Response To Heckler Somewhere In Prop Comedian's Trunk

issue 4229 | 06.30.06 | News In Brief

CRENSHAW, OR—Requesting that the audience "give me a second," prop comedian "Gallopin'" Hal Coffey rummaged through his oversized... more»
PNC Park Threatens To Leave Pittsburgh Unless Better Team Is Built

issue 4229 | 07.20.06 | Sports News

PITTSBURGH—After five years of serving Pittsburgh as their state-of-the-art sporting facility, PNC Park, the home of the rundown, poorly... more»
Orlando Murder Rate Up

issue 4229 | 07.25.06 | American Voices

Orlando, Florida, home to Walt Disney World, is on track in 2006 to have the most murders in 24 years. What do you think? more»
Voting Rights Act Extended

issue 4229 | 07.24.06 | American Voices

On Thursday, the U.S. Senate approved a 25-year extension of the 1965 Voting Rights Act, which protected the voting rights of African Americans.... more»
Stem-Cell Science Vetoed

issue 4229 | 07.21.06 | American Voices

President Bush executed his first veto since entering office on a bill supporting stem-cell research. What do you think? more»
CBS Laser-Etches Eggs

issue 4229 | 07.20.06 | American Voices

CBS will be laser-etching 35 million eggs to be sold in stores to promote its fall lineup. What do you think? more»
Boston's Big-Dig Fiasco

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | American Voices

Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney took over an inspection of the Big Dig, Boston's recently completed multi-billion-dollar tunnel highway system,... more»
Indonesian Factory Celebrates 'Bring Your Parents To Work' Day

issue 4229 | 07.25.06 | Radio
Hopeless Romantic Beaten Up By Coworker's Husband

issue 4229 | 07.24.06 | Radio
Senate Softball Team Loses Against Local Bar

issue 4229 | 07.23.06 | Radio
Fountain Simulates Vomiting Lion

issue 4229 | 07.22.06 | Radio
Ancient Shopping List Shows Early Man Really Loved Meat

issue 4229 | 07.21.06 | Radio
Rob Zombie To Crash At Your Place For Couple Of Days

issue 4229 | 07.20.06 | Radio
Pentagon Develops New Tank To Defend Marriage

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | Radio
Bush Arrives At Caribbean Summit Aboard Catamaran One

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | News In Photos
Microwave Used As Alarm Clock

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | News In Photos
Sometimes I Wish I'd Never Been Born Again

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | Commentary

Brothers and sisters, I'd like to share something with you today. Won't you let the Good News of Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ into your... more»
I Kinda Had A Breakdown

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | Columnists

Hola amigos. How's shit shaking out? I know it's been a long time since I rapped at ya, but misery's been flying at me from all directions,... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | Horoscopes
Dan Rather's Career Highlights

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | Infographic
What Are We Doing On Our Lunch Breaks?

issue 4229 | 07.19.06 | Statshot
Will Man Ever Put Nukes On The Moon?

issue 4229 | 07.21.06 | Sunday Magazine
July 20, 1925

issue 4229 | 07.20.06 | Onion In History

Scopes Monkey Trial Raises Troubling Question: Is Science Being Taught In Our Schools? more»
Barbaro's Doctors: 'A Horse This Good You Don't Eat All At Once'

issue 4229 | 07.20.06 | Photo Finish

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