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September 11, 2006 - September 17, 2006 | Issue 42•36

Make-A-Wish Recipient Now Wishes Macho Man Randy Savage Would Go Away

PHOENIX—9-year-old leukemia patient Tyler Blashock was initially ecstatic to learn Monday that the Make-A-Wish Foundation was sending Macho Man Randy Savage to meet him at the Phoenix Children’s Hospital. But after spending half a day with Savage, Blashock said he wished the 44-year-old...

NYC Unveils 9/11 Memorial Hole

issue 4236 | 09.11.06 | News

NEW YORK—New York Governor George Pataki thanked President Bush for providing "ample, unquestioning financial support" for the $175 million pit. more»
Caltech Physicists Successfully Split The Bill

issue 4236 | 09.05.06 | News

PASADENA, CA—The party found the $284.57 bill to be an irrational number for eight people to pay at a Cheesecake Factory chain restaurant. more»
Grapes 'Big Hit' At Area Picnic

issue 4236 | 09.04.06 | News

PORTLAND, OR—Speaking at an impromptu press conference on her back patio, 7th-grade language-arts teacher Wendy Polonski, 31, announced that... more»
Bush: 'History Cannot Judge Me If I End It Soon'

issue 4236 | 09.07.06 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Despite, or perhaps because of, rising fuel prices, the unpopularity of the U.S. presence in Iraq, and mounting legal... more»
Cubans: New Dictator Doing It All Wrong

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | News In Brief

HAVANA—Citing the lack of rambling six-hour speeches, cessation of random closings of entire industrial sectors, as well as a failure... more»
Rob Schneider Lands Role Originally Written For Chimp

issue 4236 | 09.05.06 | News In Brief

LOS ANGELES—Actor Rob Schneider's next comedic role was originally intended for August Lord Oook, a veteran comic actor and... more»
Area Dad Suspicious Of Car Parked Across Street

issue 4236 | 09.04.06 | News In Brief

CORONA, WI—Homeowner and father of three Robert LaFontaine issued a statement late Monday, expressing unease and distrust toward an... more»
Stripper Does Adequate Job

issue 4236 | 09.01.06 | News In Brief

HOUSTON, TX—Executives attending a special conference in the VIP Room of Ajax Gentleman's Club responded positively and expressed... more»
Alex Rodriguez Placed On Emotionally Disabled List

issue 4236 | 09.07.06 | Sports News

NEW YORK—After suffering through much of the year with an aching heart, shattered self-image, and severely hurt feelings, Alex Rodriguez was... more»
Cigarettes Have More Nicotine

issue 4236 | 09.12.06 | American Voices

A recent study shows that the amount of nicotine in cigarettes rose an average of 10 percent between 1998 and 2004. What do you think? more»
New Oil Field Discovered

issue 4236 | 09.11.06 | American Voices

The Chevron Corporation has discovered an oil field in the Gulf of Mexico which could possibly produce 6,000 barrels a day. What do you think? more»
CNN's Chilling 9/11 Tribute

issue 4236 | 09.08.06 | American Voices

On the fifth anniversary this month, CNN.com will be streaming footage all day of the network's televised coverage from Sept. 11th, 2001, enabling... more»
Immigration Rallies Smaller

issue 4236 | 09.07.06 | American Voices

Labor Day immigration rallies drew fewer numbers than the marches held from earlier this year. What do you think? more»
U.S. Planes Kill Canadian

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | American Voices

U.S. warplanes accidentally fired on Canadian troops in southern Afghanistan, killing one and wounding five. What do you think? more»
Scientists Warn: Autumn Will Kill Us All

issue 4236 | 09.12.06 | Radio
Temp Puts Extensive Knowledge Of Alphabet To Good Use

issue 4236 | 09.11.06 | Radio
Man Born To Party Dies Partying

issue 4236 | 09.10.06 | Radio
Donut Shop's Mission-Statement Awfully Ambitious

issue 4236 | 09.09.06 | Radio
Australia's 'The Stingray Hunter' Says 'It Should Have Been Me'

issue 4236 | 09.08.06 | Radio
Word-Of-The-Day Worked Into A Beating

issue 4236 | 09.07.06 | Radio
Amateur Metallurgist Always Ready To Melt Things Down

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | Radio
Rolling Stones Kick Off 'Sing Our Songs For Us' Tour

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | News In Photos
Video-Game Character Feeling Healthier After Eating Turkey Leg Off Ground

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | News In Photos
Any Idiot Could Have Come Up With The Car

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | Commentary

During a recent visit to the Smithsonian's National Museum Of American History, I was more than a little amazed to discover they had dedicated... more»
When I Die, Scatter My Ashes On A Naked Lady

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | Commentary

It may seem odd to some that, at only 32 years of age, I have already prepared for my eventual passing. However, I feel strongly that there's... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | Horoscopes
Airport Security Oversights

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | Infographic

A Connecticut man was recently arrested for carrying a stick of dynamite in his checked luggage on a flight back from Brazil. Here are some... more»
What Will We Think Of Next?

issue 4236 | 09.06.06 | Statshot
Where Da Girls At?

issue 4236 | 09.08.06 | Sunday Magazine
Sept. 6, 1997

issue 4236 | 09.07.06 | Onion In History

'Teeny Baby' Trend Big With Inner-City Teens more»
Yankee Fans Lure A-Rod Out Of Dugout With Curtain Call In Order To Boo Him

issue 4236 | 09.07.06 | Photo Finish

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