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Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse

Report: Majority Of Americans Unprepared For Apocalypse WASHINGTON, DC—Over 87 percent of Americans are unprepared to protect themselves from even the most basic world-ending scenarios, according to a study released Monday by the nonpartisan doomsday think-tank The Malthusian Institute.

Despite "more than ampl...

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Astrology

This Week’s Horoscopes

Virgo: You have no sympathy for people who always take the easy way out of difficult situations. What you have for them is empathy.

Infographic

Infographic Terrorism R

New Anti-Terrorism Strategy

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Statshot Where Does R

Where Does It Hurt?

Opinion

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Updates: Wednesday 9/13/06

American Voices

Sexy Lyrics, Sexual Teens

 Old Woman
"That's a bunch of bullshit. I spent my whole youth listening to 'Too Short' and didn't get laid till I was 27."


More American Voices

9/13/06 7:41 AM

Onion Magazine

America's 50 Poorest People

9/15/06 10:39 AM

National News Highlights

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  • SILVER CITY, NM—Exchange student Gerard Haastert and local sophomore Darren Sheppard developed a mutual appreciation for each other's cultures by sharing the swear words of their native tongues.
  • HARRISBURG, PA—Thirteen-year-old prankster Jason Pentino flipped out upon discovering the particular brand of sugar he used to fill his neighbor's gas tank actually increases performance and gas mileage.
  • SAN FRANCISCO, CA—After a pirated copy of their forthcoming album was leaked to Kazaa, metal band Pain And Malady issued an angry statement decrying the substitution of an ampersand for the word "And" in the artist tag.
9/19/06 5:01 AM

Stock Watch

SPE

A month after its yearly inventory, conservative investors are still actively avoiding any knowledge of how it went.

9/13/06 8:29 AM

This Day In History

New National Colors

Sept. 12, 1972

Puke Orange, Pea Green, Mustard Yellow Adopted as New National Colors

9/14/06 11:37 AM
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