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Sagittarius: The stars strongly sense the presence of cantaloupe, honeydew melon, and possibly even some pineapple in this Tuesday's bowl of fruit salad.

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Updates: Wednesday 11/29/06

American Voices

Iraq Now Longer Than WWII

Old Woman
"The Iraq war may last longer, but I guarantee you that both wars will end the same way: with the complete destruction of the Japanese."


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11/29/06 11:03 AM

Onion Magazine

20 Terrorists Under 20

12/01/06 8:30 AM

National News Highlights

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  • ST. LOUIS, MO—Despite heated competitions in sports with neighboring high school St. Louis West, the true rival of Harper Jones High proved to be tax allocation and budget cuts this past Wednesday.
  • NEW YORK, NY—A drop of water on a subway seat is causing quite a stir.
  • FAIRFAX, VA—Anthony McDermott's parents accused him of rubbing salt in the wound by choosing to come out via singing telegram.
12/05/06 7:49 AM

Stock Watch

SNE

After Michael Richards’ meltdown at an L.A. comedy club, stores quickly sold out of Sony's Seinfeld DVD box sets, with anxious viewers trying to find Kramer’s hidden agenda, as seen in the racist way he throws open doors, shakes wildly, and tells stories.

11/29/06 8:22 AM

This Day In History

Sadat, Begin Celebrate Peace Treaty with All-Night Coke Orgy at Studio 54

Nov. 27, 1979

Sadat, Begin Celebrate Peace Treaty with All-Night Coke Orgy at Studio 54

11/30/06 10:28 AM
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