In Brief
- Thirsty Mayor Drinks Town's Entire Water Supply
- Extra-Slanty Italics Introduced For Extremely Important Words
- Bush Has One Of Those Days Where He Feels Like 68 Percent Of People Hate Him
- White-On-White Violence Claims Life Of Accounts Receivable Supervisor
- Prospective Student Had Most Fun Getting Drunk At Arizona State
- Toddler Makes Convincing Case For Being Afraid Of Horse
- Clinton Questions Obama's Ability To Greet World Leaders
- Video: In The Know: Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists?
- Opinion: All You Had To Say Was 'Owen Wilson Befriends A Dolphin' And I Was Sold
- Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal
- Video: Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past
- Everything Falling Apart, Reports Institute For Somehow Managing To Hold It All Together
- Opinion: I Would Say 'To Kill A Mockingbird' Captured The Most Interesting Part Of Our Lives
- Video: McCain Vows To Replace Secret Service With His Own Bare Fists
- San Diego Zoo, Prison Merge
- Video: Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past
- Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal
- Video: Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now
- Jenna Bush Married
- Optimism Can't Beat Cancer
- Toddler Makes Convincing Case For Being Afraid Of Horse
- "Law & Order" Actor Arrested
- Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box
- Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four
- Clinton Questions Obama's Ability To Greet World Leaders
- Video: Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past
- Video: In The Know: Are Politicians Failing Our Lobbyists?
- Formerly Obese Man Always Showing Everyone His Old Pants
- Piggly Wiggly Scouting Report Indicates J.J. Hardy Enjoys Rib-Eye Steaks
- Health Care
- Infographic: Recently Greenlit Sports Movies
- Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box
- San Diego Zoo, Prison Merge
- Opinion: I Can't Believe I'm Being Forced To Sit On This Couch While Jay Leno Interviews Josh Hartnett
- Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal
- Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four
- Video: Historic ‘Blockbuster’ Store Offers Glimpse Of How Movies Were Rented In The Past
- Toddler Makes Convincing Case For Being Afraid Of Horse
- Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box
- Radio News: Study: Most Self-Abuse Goes Unreported
- Optimism Can't Beat Cancer
- Jenna Bush Married
- Video: Age-Progression Technology Indicates Missing Child A Prostitute By Now
- "Law & Order" Actor Arrested
- Nation's Slicked-Back-Hair Men Rally Against Negative Hollywood Portrayal
Features
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Stockwatch
Frustrated parents and investors alike have embraced this producer of baby-shaped maracas designed to satisfy their urge to shake a baby without having to harm their own.
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National News Highlights
Roll over locations for news
- HARRISONBURG, VA—Alice Olif found a new use for her old egg-timer after learning that an immigrant enters the United States every 11 seconds.
- SPOONER, WI—Having taken the floor for her first dance as a married woman, harried bride Marie Larson was horrified to learn that "Love Zone" is not a ballad and that Judas Priest is not a Christian rock band.
- CULVER CITY, CA—Angela Macedo had no idea making money as a hair model for first-year cosmetology students was as easy as setting aside all of her pride and self-respect.
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Sunday Magazine
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National News Highlights
Roll over locations for news
- CLEARWATER, FL—Jesse Graber was so offended by the racist, anti-Barack Obama rhetoric posted on an online forum that he vowed to find a new rape fetish web community with progressive members.
- BILOXI, MS—After only three months on the job, hotel manager Brian Rockwell realized that he had become disillusioned with the Days Inn mission statement.
- RACINE, WI—Tired of trying to figure out how to wire his new stereo system, Jesse Kates decided to make do by performing a complicated cover of Elton John’s “Bennie and The Jets” using only his mouth while lying on the couch.
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Stockwatch
Economists and pacifists alike are bullish on this startup, which sprinkles any destination with debris from bolts to body parts, eliminating the need for older, often destructive bomb-based deliveries.
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This Day In History
April 30, 1992
L.A. Rioters Demand Justice, Tape Decks
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Gay Couple Feels Pressured To Marry
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Israelites Sue God For Breach Of Covenant
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Report: Al-Qaeda Allegedly Engaging In Telemarketing
IN FOCUS: Gay Marriage
IN FOCUS: Israel
IN FOCUS: Al-Qaeda
Issue Highlights
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Women To Drink For Free Until
10 Tonight At Spanky'sLOCAL
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Pillsbury Cinnamon Rolls To Rise In Stomach
FOOD
From our News Partners
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CNN
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Slate
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AV Club
