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At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

September 1, 2007 - September 7, 2007 | Issue 43•35

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Woman Overjoyed By Giant Uterine Parasite

NEW BRIGHTON, MN—Immediately following a physician's examination for her menstrual cessation, 37-year-old events planner Janice Crowley told reporters Tuesday that she is...

Area Man Likes To Compare Circle Of Friends To Cast Of Lost

issue 4335 | 09.01.07 | News

BEXLEY, OH— Friend Katie Peters is "the Kate of the group," not only because she shares the same name and is attractive, but also... more»
No One Cares About Your Girlfriend Back Home

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | News

YOUR SCHOOL—When asked which topics they would rather hear about than your high school girlfriend, your peers cited subjects from dorm-safety... more»
Dorm RA 'Not Like The Other Dorm RAs,' Says Dorm RA

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | News

MINNEAPOLIS—"I might have seemed intimidating, but I'm chill," said RA Marcus Nelson, who doesn't care what his residents do as long as it... more»
Report: School Shootings Help Prepare Students For Being Shot In Real World

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—"What hope do our children have if they're not constantly terrified of being shot dead?" said Diane Gallo, director of No... more»
Senate Allocates $460 Billion For Big Labor Day Sales

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—The Must Act Now Act authorizes the federal government to take full advantage of "sensational savings" on select and... more»
Heartbroken Bush Runs After Departing Rove's Car

issue 4335 | 08.31.07 | News

WASHINGTON, DC—"Why can't I go with him? When is he coming back?" a tearful President Bush asked advisers as Karl Rove's sedan... more»
Slightest Amount Of Physical Contact Apologized For

issue 4335 | 08.31.07 | News In Brief

NEW YORK—During a crowded rush-hour subway ride Monday, an inadvertent brushing of one human being's hand against the forearm of... more»
Streets Of Portland Flooded With Counterfeit Toothbrushes

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | News In Brief

PORTLAND, OR—The health-and-beauty-aids market in the Pacific Northwest city of Portland is on the verge of collapse due to the mass... more»
Nation's Fourth-Graders Continue To Trail Nation's Fifth-Graders

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Data released by the National Education Association Monday showed that the wide "knowledge chasm" in American public... more»
Prestigious University Touts Racial Diversity Of Dining Hall Staff

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | News In Brief

PRINCETON, NJ—During a first-year orientation event Monday, Princeton University president Shirley M. Tilghman lauded the college's... more»
Freshman Bares Her Soul To Entire Dorm Floor In First Week

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | News In Brief

MADISON, WI—Through tearful breakdowns, heart-to-heart conversations, and alcohol-infused emotional confessions, Chadbourne Hall... more»
USA Today Crossword Puzzle Grants False Sense Of Intelligence

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | News In Brief

DES MOINES, IA—Forty-five minutes after sitting down with a cup of coffee and the USA Today crossword, local window fashions salesman... more»
Town Still Can't Think Of Name For Largest, Most Used Street

issue 4335 | 08.28.07 | News In Brief

EDGAR, NE—Residents of the small town of Edgar have yet to come up with a fitting name for the tiny village's most highly trafficked... more»
Chris Tucker To Focus Attention On Smaller, More Personal Rush Hour Projects

issue 4335 | 08.27.07 | News In Brief

NEW YORK—Wishing to evolve artistically beyond the blockbuster Rush Hour franchise that has made him famous, actor Chris Tucker... more»
Non-Doping Cyclists Finish Tour De France

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | Sports News

PARIS—A small but enthusiastic crowd of several dozen was on hand at the Tour de France's finish line on the Avenue des Champs-Élysées... more»
Senator Craig Arrested

issue 4335 | 08.31.07 | American Voices

Sen. Larry Craig (R-ID) was arrested for lewd conduct at the Minneapolis-St. Paul Airport for allegedly attempting to cruise an undercover cop in a... more»
Motor City Madman Attacks Dems

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | American Voices

In a video of a recent live performance, rocker Ted Nugent launched into a tirade against Sen. Barack Obama (D-IL) and Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-NY),... more»
Texas Executes 400th Convict

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | American Voices

Last week, the state of Texas executed its 400th prisoner since 1976, when execution was ruled constitutional. What do you think? more»
Travelocity Fined For Cuba Trips

issue 4335 | 08.28.07 | American Voices

Internet travel site Travelocity was fined $182,750 for booking trips to Cuba in violation of a 45-year-old embargo. What do you think? more»
Attorney General Gonzales Resigns

issue 4335 | 08.27.07 | American Voices

Internet travel site Travelocity was fined $182,750 for booking trips to Cuba in violation of a 45-year-old embargo. What do you think? more»
Hedge-Fund Manager Invests Millions In Spouse's Appearance

issue 4335 | 09.03.07 | Radio
Hamster Thrown From Remote-Control Monster Truck

issue 4335 | 09.02.07 | Radio
Song About Heroin Used To Advertise Bank

issue 4335 | 09.01.07 | Radio
Monarch Butterfly Begins 2,000-Mile Migration Toward Windshield

issue 4335 | 08.31.07 | Radio
New Prosthetic Fist Restores Area Man's Ability To Punch

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | Radio
Heaven To Return 3.6 Billion Souls For Re-Judging

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | Radio
Drunk Astronauts Let Chimp Land Shuttle

issue 4335 | 08.28.07 | Radio
Office Photocopier Rules Learned The Hard Way

issue 4335 | 08.27.07 | Radio
Editorial Cartoon - August 27, 2007

issue 4335 | 08.27.07 | Editorial Cartoon
Picture Of iPhone Used As iPhone Wallpaper

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | News In Photos
Real-Life Log Flume Kills Family

issue 4335 | 08.28.07 | News In Photos
Liability Waiver Carefully Lowered Into Mine Shaft

issue 4335 | 08.28.07 | News In Photos
This Monster Problem Is Distracting This Town From The Real Issues

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | Commentary

People, people, people! Put down your torches for a second. I know you're all angry that, after days of bloody and terrifying rampage, the... more»
Honey, Let's Never Pass Out Angry Again

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | Commentary

Last night was horrible. I'm not even going to go over who said what to whom or how you ended up sleeping in the backyard, because none of... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4335 | 08.28.07 | Horoscopes
Remembering Princess Di

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | Infographic

This Friday marks the 10th anniversary of the death of Princess Diana of Wales. What tributes are being paid to her memory? more»
What's plugged into the power strip?

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 | Statshot
National Lost And Found: Did You Lose A Flag Of The Marshall Islands?

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | Video

If you've misplaced something, the National Department of Lost and Found is the place to turn. more»
Beyonce Unhurt After Stray Bullet Miraculously Hits Passerby Instead

issue 4335 | 08.27.07 | Video

Tragedy was narrowly averted when a stray bullet bound for singer Beyonce thankfully struck and became lodged in a passerby. more»
Action Heroes

issue 4335 | 08.28.07 | Slideshow
Enough: Is It Enough?

issue 4335 | 08.31.07 | Sunday Magazine
Depression, Alcoholism, & STDs: Which One Is Right For You?

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | Sunday Magazine
Jerome Bettis' New Tell-All Book Brings Down Beloved Steeler Jerome Bettis

issue 4335 | 08.30.07 | Photo Finish
Entire Coffee Cake Consumed Over Trash Can

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 |
Socialist Father Wants Equal Life For Son

issue 4335 | 08.29.07 |

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