Recent News
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Report: School Shootings Help Prepare Students For Being Shot In Real World
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No One Cares About Your Girlfriend Back Home
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Dorm RA 'Not Like The Other Dorm RAs,' Says Dorm RA
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Senate Allocates $460 Billion For Big Labor Day Sales
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Heartbroken Bush Runs After Departing Rove's Car
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Woman Overjoyed By Giant Uterine Parasite
In Brief
- Slightest Amount Of Physical Contact Apologized For
- Prestigious University Touts Racial Diversity Of Dining Hall Staff
- Streets Of Portland Flooded With Counterfeit Toothbrushes
- Nation's Fourth-Graders Continue To Trail Nation's Fifth-Graders
- Freshman Bares Her Soul To Entire Dorm Floor In First Week
- USA Today Crossword Puzzle Grants False Sense Of Intelligence
- Town Still Can't Think Of Name For Largest, Most Used Street
- Chris Tucker To Focus Attention On Smaller, More Personal Rush Hour Projects
Our Dumb World
Estonia
United In Circular Dancing
The merry nation of Estonia has been under foreign control for most of its history, due to the fact that its main form of defense is holding hands...
- Number Of Acceptable Things Candidates Can Say Now Down To Four
- Video: McCain Vows To Replace Secret Service With His Own Bare Fists
- Watching TV Shows On DVD The Way To Do It, Area Man Reports
- Michel Gondry Entertained For Days By New Cardboard Box
- Opinion: I'm The Denzel Washington In Training Day Of Booking Plane Tickets Online
Features
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Sunday Magazine
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Stockwatch
Stock prices dipped for this casual dining company–which owns Olive Garden, Red Lobster, and three other chain restaurants–after Chili's announced plans to introduce two new margaritas.
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Sunday Magazine
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National News Highlights
Roll over locations for news
- CARSON CITY, NV—The staff of Zelda's House of Pleasure were given the day off Friday to celebrate after it was named America's Most Haunted Brothel by US News and World Report.
- PATTERSON, NJ—An employee of the Harribo Gummi Candy factory brought in a homemade mold of boot Tuesday, and everyone figured, what the hell, people will eat a gummi boot.
- MEDFORD, OR—Once again, not one person could get it together to put on Medford Heritage Days.
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Israelites Sue God For Breach Of Covenant
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Report: Al-Qaeda Allegedly Engaging In Telemarketing
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Fed to Make Interest Rates Undulate Relaxingly
IN FOCUS: Israel
IN FOCUS: Al-Qaeda
IN FOCUS: THE FED
Issue Highlights
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Entire Coffee Cake Consumed Over Trash Can
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Socialist Father Wants Equal Life For Son
From our News Partners
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CNN
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Slate
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AV Club
