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September 8, 2007 - September 14, 2007 | Issue 43•36

Nameless Hurricane That Much More Terrifying

MIAMI—South Florida residents were overcome with fear, confusion, and an unnerving sense of dread Tuesday when they learned that an unidentified hurricane is heading for their area—its origin uncertain, its intentions unclear, and perhaps...

Town Hall Meeting Gives Townspeople Chance To Say Stupid Things In Public

issue 4336 | 09.08.07 | News

NEW BEDFORD, MA—"I fought in Korea, and by God I would do it again," said 76-year-old Ronald Schroyer, who immediately retook his... more»
Historic Pretzels-For-Little Debbie Swap Sparks Heavy Lunchtime Trading

issue 4336 | 09.07.07 | News

BOULDER, CO—While some were able to make substantial gains, the activity resulted in a flooding of Sun-Maid raisins and an estimated 56 feet of... more»
Study: Casual Sex Only Rewarding For First Few Decades

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | News

ARLINGTON, VA—"Sadly, many of these promiscuous singles may never realize how miserable a lifetime of supremely pleasurable sex can make... more»
Loser Friend Sort Of Doing Better

issue 4336 | 09.07.07 | News In Brief

ANAHEIM, CA—Despite a long history of unstable living arrangements, failed relationships, and an overall inability to get his shit... more»
Study: Retired Dads Busier Than Ever

issue 4336 | 09.06.07 | News In Brief

NEW YORK—A recent survey published in AARP The Magazine indicates that 95 percent of the nation's retired dads are in fact... more»
New Secret Service Agent Disappointed There Are No Decoy Presidents

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON, DC—Rookie Secret Service agent Daniel Ferris, 32, expressed disappointment Monday upon learning there is not a series of... more»
Mortgage Market Collapse Threatens Nation's Banner Ad Industry

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 | News In Brief

NEW YORK—With the mortgage market reeling from massive loan defaults, analysts are now predicting disaster for the banner ad industry... more»
Researchers Find Link Between Education, Smartness

issue 4336 | 09.03.07 | News In Brief

BOSTON—A study released Tuesday by the Lyman Center for Policy Evaluation and Strategy may have uncovered a link between school-based... more»
Brady Quinn Leads Browns Into Post-Preseason

issue 4336 | 09.06.07 | Sports News

CLEVELAND—Establishing a reputation for quarterback performance that football insiders have called "reasonable," Browns quarterback Brady... more»
Number Of Blacks In Military Down

issue 4336 | 09.07.07 | American Voices

A Defense Department report states that the percentage of blacks among active-duty recruits fell from 20 percent to 13 percent since the... more»
'Unbeatable' Checkers Program Designed

issue 4336 | 09.06.07 | American Voices

Scientists at the University of Alberta have developed a computer program that can never lose a checkers match, making checkers the most complex... more»
America Most Armed Nation

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | American Voices

The 2007 Small Arms Survey indicates that the United States is the most armed nation in the world, with 90 guns for every 100 citizens. What do... more»
Housing Prices Fall Sharply

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 | American Voices

The prices of U.S. homes fell by 3.2 percent in the second quarter, the steepest in 20 years. What do you think? more»
Afghan Opium Yields Highest Ever

issue 4336 | 09.03.07 | American Voices

Cultivation of opium poppies in Afghanistan reached a record level for the second year in a row, rising by 60 percent. What do you think? more»
School Board Votes To Allow Teasing Of Area Sixth-Grader

issue 4336 | 09.10.07 | Radio
MIT Researchers Discover Each Other

issue 4336 | 09.09.07 | Radio
Demographers Postulate Existence Of Life Forms Over 35

issue 4336 | 09.08.07 | Radio
Celebrating Hardware Customer Buys Everyone Round Of Dry-Wall Screws

issue 4336 | 09.07.07 | Radio
Ghost Just Dropped By To Say 'Boo'

issue 4336 | 09.06.07 | Radio
Study: 8 Out Of 10 Southerners Are Currently Hunkered Down

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | Radio
Spy Has Coolest Way Of Hiding Alcoholism From Wife

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 | Radio
Editorial Cartoon - September 3, 2007

issue 4336 | 09.03.07 | Editorial Cartoon
Groom Not About To Let Some 6-Year-Old Dance With His Bride

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | News In Photos
Real-Life Scene Filled With Product Placement

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 | News In Photos
From The Beaches Of Normandy To The Streets Of Paris, My Platoon Was A Bunch Of Pussies

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | Commentary

Like many good men my age, I was in the Big One, and I can tell you firsthand that war is hell. It's day after horrifying day of your worst... more»
Bro, You're A God Among Bros

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | Commentary

You know you're one of my top bros, bro, because you got my back. And I got yours. You're my bro. But you went above and beyond the other... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 | Horoscopes
The Troubled Life of Amy Winehouse

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | Infographic

Friends and family have been in the news recently urging British pop singer Amy Winehouse to quit using drugs, saying that she has a problem.... more»
What's Ruining Our Gardens?

issue 4336 | 09.05.07 | Statshot
In The Know: Are America's Rich Falling Behind The Super-Rich?

issue 4336 | 09.06.07 | Video

Panelists discuss a new study showing the gap between the wealthy and the absurdly wealthy is widening, and how we can help the merely rich catch up. more»
Missing Girl Probably Raped

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 | Video

Bloomington, IN police say they have absolutely no information about a missing college student. Alan Fisher investigates the possible rape. more»
Police Blotter

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 | Slideshow
1985 Photo Reveals ESPN's John Clayton Was 6' 6" 275-Pound Bears Lineman

issue 4336 | 09.06.07 | Photo Finish
Vacuum Cleaner Salesman Asks That Ashes Be Spread On Potential Customers' Carpets

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 |
$314 Million Powerball Winner Not Going To Let First 4 Payments Change Him

issue 4336 | 09.04.07 |