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February 9, 2008 - February 15, 2008 | Issue 44•06

Dept. Of Homeland Security: 'Has Anybody Seen A Blue Folder?'

WASHINGTON—In an emergency press conference held this morning, Department of Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff urged the American public to be on the lookout for a folder that was...

Local Girlfriend Always Wants To Do Stuff

issue 4406 | 02.09.08 | News

SALEM, OR—Alicia Maas often asks to be taken to dinner, go grocery shopping, and embark on meandering walks without a fixed destination,... more»
GM Introduces New 2008 Line Of Layoffs

issue 4406 | 02.08.08 | News

DETROIT—Urging consumers to forget everything they thought they knew about job security, GM described the new cutbacks as "a major breakthrough... more»
World Leaders Gather To Roast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 | News

GENEVA—"Ahmadinejad? I can't even say it, let alone write it on a Black Ops memo." President Bush jested during the roast of Iran's... more»
Landlord Not Convinced Heat Isn't Working

issue 4406 | 02.08.08 | News In Brief

QUEENS, NY—Despite urgent pleas to the contrary, landlord Arnold Ngyuen remained unconvinced that the heat in Ted Myer's apartment is not on,... more»
This Time To Be Different

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 | News In Brief

LAREDO, TX—This time—unlike the time you moved in with the alcoholic chick from New Jersey, the time you and your buddy stole those... more»
Bush To Meet With Agriculture Secretary Down In The Holler

issue 4406 | 02.05.08 | News In Brief

WASHINGTON—Deputy Secretary of Agriculture Charles F. Conner told reporters Tuesday that he plans to meet later this week with President... more»
Patriots' Season Perfect For Rest Of Nation

issue 4406 | 02.07.08 | Sports News

FOXBOROUGH, MA—As the once-invincible, still-insufferable Patriots attempt to come to grips with their 17-14 Super Bowl loss to the Giants,... more»
Female Voter-Age Gap Between Obama, Clinton

issue 4406 | 02.08.08 | American Voices

While Obama polls well with women under the age of 30, Clinton polls exceptionally well with women over the age of 30. What do you think? more»
Three-Parent Embryo Developed

issue 4406 | 02.07.08 | American Voices

British scientists claim to have created an embryo with genes from three people. What do you think? more»
United Charges For Second Bag

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 | American Voices

Unites Airlines will begin charging $25 for a second checked bag on select low-fare flights. What do you think? more»
Cut Cables Slow Indian Internet

issue 4406 | 02.05.08 | American Voices

The accidental severing of three undersea cables has led to a massive Internet slowdown in India. What do you think? more»
Editorial Cartoon - February 4, 2008

issue 4406 | 02.04.08 | Editorial Cartoon
Area Man A Little Too Old To Have Obama Fever

issue 4406 | 02.05.08 | News In Photos
Seriously, Cleveland, How Are You?

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 | Commentary

Hello again, Cleveland! It's me, Bob Seger. You may recall me from the rock-and-roll concert last night. First off, let me say that it was such... more»
Ask The Stage Directions To Tennessee Williams' Cat On A Hot Tin Roof

issue 4406 | 02.07.08 | Advice

The stage directions from Tennessee Williams' Cat On A Hot Tin Roof is a syndicated columnist whose weekly advice column, Ask The stage... more»
Your Horoscope

issue 4406 | 02.05.08 | Horoscopes
In The Know: New Iraqi Law Requires Waiting Period For Suicide Vest Purchases

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 | Video

Panelists discuss whether stringent new suicide-vest laws would make sure only responsible people blow themselves up. more»
Ngyuen Thi Buch Thuy: 'Just Give Me The Damn Sepak Takraw Ball'

issue 4406 | 02.05.08 | Video

Sepak takraw fan favorite Nguyen Thi Buch Thuy has once again angered Coach Lap with his antics on the pitch. more»
The Afterlife

issue 4406 | 02.26.08 | Slideshow
Hair

issue 4406 | 02.18.08 | Slideshow
Our Nation's Heroes

issue 4406 | 02.08.08 | Sunday Magazine
Eli Manning Finishes Super Bowl With Thick, Bushy Mustache

issue 4406 | 02.07.08 | Photo Finish
Bacon Added

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 |
Facebook Helps Old MySpace Friends Get Back in Touch

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 |
Bully With Good Grades Indestructible

issue 4406 | 02.06.08 |