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- Congress Can't Remember Last Time It Got Together And Legislated Like This
- Blog: We Must Lower Age-Of-Consent Laws
- Members Of Twisted Sister Now Willing To Take It
- Statshot: What Is The $700 Billion Bailout Being Spent On?
- Video: China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space
- Churches Illegally Endorse Candidates
- Video: Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain
- Police: iPhone Left In Hot Car For Three Hours
- Palin Brushing Up On Foreign Policy At Epcot
- Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence
- Opinion: People Of Earth, I Lack Basic Social Skills
- Parents Of Obama Volunteer Couldn't Be More Proud, Sick Of Son
- Palin Brushing Up On Foreign Policy At Epcot
- Members Of Twisted Sister Now Willing To Take It
- Police: iPhone Left In Hot Car For Three Hours
- Report: 60 Million People You'd Never Talk To Voting For Other Guy
- Wealthy Teen Nearly Experiences Consequence
- Video: Obama Promises To Stop America's Shitty Jobs From Going Overseas
- Video: Obama Runs Constructive Criticism Ad Against McCain
- Video: China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space
- Video: McCain’s Economic Plan For Nation: 'Everyone Marry A Beer Heiress'
- Parents Of Obama Volunteer Couldn't Be More Proud, Sick Of Son
- Employee's Multitasking Doesn't Include Work
- Police: iPhone Left In Hot Car For Three Hours
- Opinion: Historical Archives: Great God, The Stenche
- Opinion: People Of Earth, I Lack Basic Social Skills
- John Kerry Actually Pretty Good At Windsurfing Now
- Breast Cancer Launches WNBA Awareness Month
- Local Woman Devotes Life To Doing God's Busy Work
- Video: China Launches First Willing Manned Mission Into Space
- Report: 60 Million People You'd Never Talk To Voting For Other Guy
- Scandal: McCain Won Miss Congeniality Of U.S. Senate In 2000, 2003
- Stick Shift Bragged About
- Israel, Palestine Now Fighting Over Cemetery Space
- Ugly Girl Killed
- Change In Bus Seats Taken Personally
- Local Airhead Wants To Work With Kids
- Band Loudly Discusses Record Deal At IHOP
- Activist Wet-T-Shirt Judge Votes For Girlfriend
- Perfectly Marketed TV Show Somehow Fails
- India's Top Physicists Develop Plan To Get The Hell Out Of India
- Steve Nash Calls Second Consecutive MVP Award 'Some Kind Of Sick Joke'
Features
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Sunday Magazine
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Stockwatch
The nation's leading doormat manufacturer enjoyed a surge in stock prices after Pope Benedict XVI was photographed wiping his feet on the company’s popular A-640 model.
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National News Highlights
Roll over locations for news
- BENTON HARBOR, MI—Having just returned from his most recent tour in Iraq, Navy gunner Sean Harmeyer was disappointed to discover that the old Ground Round was now an Olive Garden.
- BURLINGTON, VT—Not quite sure how to make his baby niece stop crying, George Reisner is going to continue snapping his fingers at her.
- PORTLAND, OR—After embarrassing himself by applauding between symphony movements, Ed Callahan covered for it by clapping rhythmically throughout the remainder of the concert.
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Congress To Raise Alpacas To Aid Struggling Economy
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Just Six Corporations Remain
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World Leaders Gather To Roast Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
IN FOCUS: Politics
IN FOCUS: Business
IN FOCUS: International
Issue Highlights
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Area Housewife's Moment of Personal Epiphany Cut Short By Opening Theme Of 'The View'
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New Malcolm Gladwell Book To Painstakingly Explain Why We Have Hands
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Nicest Iron Maiden Poster Saved For Dining Room
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Hillary Stares Silently At Gun In Desk Drawer
From our News Partners
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CNN
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Slate
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AV Club
