September 25, 2009 - October 1, 2009 | Issue 45•39

< Previous | Next >

George W. Bush Chuckles To Self Upon Thinking About How He Was President Of The United States For Almost A Decade

DALLAS—While sitting alone on the porch of his home late Monday afternoon, George W. Bush, 63, chuckled upon suddenly remembering that he was once the president of the United States of America for nearly a decade. ...

Onion Stories on Twitter

• 494 Vegan Unaware Pineapple He’s Eating Once Used To Beat Cow To Death
• 312 Wal-Mart Cuts Over 13,000 Of What It Calls Jobs
• 95 Toyota Expected To Recall Prius
• 61 Family Concerned After Aging TV Show Has Another Terrible Episode

Featured Section »

Local

Massive Tag Body Spray Slick Spreading From Jersey Shore