Emerging Technologies
2009 saw a number of eye-popping new gadgets and devices available on the consumer market. Here are some of the ones that really delivered:
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Remote-Controlled Chocolate Fountain—Fresh dipping chocolate now ready and flowing whenever you're ready to get up off the couch.
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| Google G1—Users searching for specific contact information will be delighted by this hip new smartphone's "I'm Feeling Lucky" feature, which dials a random publicly listed phone number.
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Wii Fit—Provides workouts for your fat avatar.
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| Amazon U2 Edition Kindle—Housed in a sleek black-and-red casing, this electronic reading device comes preloaded with U2's favorite books.
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Canon PowerShot E1—This remarkable new device essentially freezes a moment in time, displays that singular moment visually on a small screen, and enables one to re-access that moment at any time one wishes, either using that device or a larger device with a looking-window attached.
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| The Apple Mini—This new miniature version of the major corporation Apple can be stored in a corporate headquarters the size of a matchbox.
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Panasonic Toughbook—A laptop so thick and tough that it will scare the living shit out of you.
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| Hasbro A.M.P. Robot—Proves once and for all that listening to music is a lot better with a dancing robot than without a dancing robot.
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This piece is part of The Onion's complete Our Annual Year: 2008 A.D. coverage.
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