October 29, 2009 | Issue 45•44
Pros And Cons Of An NFL Franchise In London
- PRO:
Desire to see grown men crush each other knows no nationality
- CON:
Players may react poorly to prim but adorable trainers who fly with aid of parasol and burst into character-building songs every 10 minutes
- PRO:
British prisons have plenty of room for athletes
- CON:
British viewers have a tendency to say "oh, my!" and faint at even the mildest block
- PRO:
Could call team the London Fog and helmet could feature a badass cloud
- CON:
Entire fucking ocean away from every other team
- PRO:
Fans actually polite and well-spoken right up until they riot and push each other through chain-link fences
- CON:
Victorious coaches will not enjoy being doused with 40 gallons of hot tea
- PRO:
Great way to piss off L.A.
- CON:
Changing of the Left Guards loses its flair after the third or fourth time
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