Investigators Determine Air France Disaster Caused By Plane Crash 06.19.09

PARIS—The shocking discovery, announced during a press conference Friday, finally sheds light on what took place in the early hours of June 1, answering a number of questions about the mysterious mid-flight disaster. more»

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Monument Designer To See If Some Other Country Wants To Buy Rejected War Memorial 05.20.09

LEESBURG, VA—Explaining that her design is not necessarily war-specific, Claire Dunham has begun shopping around a rejected memorial she... …more »
G-175 Nations Convene To Discuss How Things Can't Possibly Be Any Worse 04.27.09

HARARE, ZIMBABWE—"All those in favor of sighing loudly and looking around in desperation for any answer, please say yes," said Bangladeshi Prime Minister Sheikh Hasina. …more »
Panicked, Sweat-Covered Pope Reverses Longstanding Ban On Abortion 04.06.09

VATICAN CITY—"In his unending mercy, the Lord hath come unto me one night and he hath said, 'This is totally an option now," proclaimed an anxious Pope Benedict. …more »
U.S. Troops In Iraq Excited To Finally Return To Afghanistan 03.20.09

BAGHDAD—Since the announcement, Military officials have noticed improved morale, with many soldiers looking forward to returning to the one place where they felt they truly belonged. …more »
Vacation To Israel Canceled Due To History Of Israel 01.19.09

HOBOKEN, NJ—With only three weeks to go before embarking on a much-anticipated vacation to Israel, 34-year-old Jeff Kaufmann made the... …more »
U.N. Acquires Nuclear Weapon 01.13.09

NEW YORK—"Tremble before the might of this cooperative assembly of appointed representatives," said Ban Ki-moon, clutching a stack of diplomatic resolutions. …more »
Iran's Nuclear Operation Revealed To Be Cover For Greatest Roller Coaster Ever 12.15.08

TEHRAN, IRAN—Iran shocked the world by revealing that its suspected nuclear program was a cover for "Ali Baba and the 40 Loops"—the greatest coaster in history. …more »
North Korea Releases New Paintings Of Healthy Kim Jong Il 12.15.08

PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA—In an effort to dispel rumors of leader Kim Jong Il's failing health, the North Korean government released several... …more »