Nation In Frenzy About Little Wizard Boy And All His Little Wizard Friends 12.19.07

Fans wondered if the wizard would use the sword of destiny to defeat the evil Hufflestuff people. more»

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2007 Holiday Cheer Brought To You By Toyota 12.12.07

NEW YORK—The $30 million partnership includes tie-ins with the season's first snowfall and the smell of roasted turkey as it wafts through a warm and cozy home. …more »
U.S. Breath Reaches All-Time Worst 12.07.07

WASHINGTON—"We can no longer afford to turn our heads away and ignore this problem," Department of Breath and Human Services Secretary Michael Leavitt said. …more »
Conservation Group Condemns Waterboarding As Wasteful 12.04.07

WASHINGTON—National Water Watch, a Washington-based conservation group, criticized the government's use of waterboarding Monday, calling the... …more »
Man Finally Put In Charge Of Struggling Feminist Movement 12.03.07

WASHINGTON—"All the feminist movement needed to do was hire someone who had the balls to do something about this glass ceiling business," new head feminist Peter "Buck" McGowan said. …more »
CIA: America May Have An Unknown Number Of Secret Admirers 11.28.07

WASHINGTON—"There are people out there who love us, and they're coming after us," said a blushing John Michael McConnell, director of national intelligence. …more »
Entire Blogosphere Stunned By Blogger's Special Weekend Post 11.28.07

NEW YORK—In what is being called a seminal moment in Internet history, a rare weekend post by 25-year-old blogger Ben Tiedemann on his... …more »
Proposed Bill Would Bring 4,000 Troops Back To Life 11.21.07

WASHINGTON—According to Congress, the bill is the most effective way to ensure that the growing casualty rate in Iraq is instantly reversed and reduced to zero. …more »
Fall Canceled After 3 Billion Seasons 11.07.07

WASHINGTON, DC—Autumn, which had been slotted between summer and winter, will be replaced by stifling humidity, constant sunshine, and little precipitation. …more »