Area 5-Year-Old Telling, Area 5-Year-Old Telling

March 26, 2008 | Issue 44•13

SANDWICH, MA—Sources who just saw you do that are now reporting that, oh man, area little brother Ryan, 5, has made definitive plans to tell and, in addition, is so going to tell as soon as Mom gets back. Despite a number of attempts to diffuse the tense situation with leftover Easter candy and offers to play with him, preliminary reports suggest that you are so busted and you knew you weren't permitted to be in here and there is every indication that, oooh, you're going to get in trou-ble. While it appears you could potentially be grounded for the rest of forever, you have been strongly advised to turn over all of your ow, quit pinching quit pinching quit pinching.