The Onion

Area Man Sorry He's Late, Got Here As Fast As He Could

January 15, 2008 | Issue 44•03

CHICAGO—Thirty-four-year-old associate sales representative Ben Anderson, who got here as fast as he possibly could, is really, really sorry he's late. "What did I miss?" asked Anderson, who again, is so sorry, but the bus—well, it's a long story. "My girlfriend and the dog—and now I'm holding everything up. Sorry. Sorry." Anderson, who added that he's honestly very sorry, has asked that everyone just ignore him and carry on while he gets himself settled.

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