Crushed Philadephlia Sports Fans Devastated By Philadelphia Soul's Arena Football League Title

July 31, 2008 | | Onion Sports

PHILADELPHIA—Hockey, baseball, basketball, and football fans alike are mourning the Philadelphia Soul's victory in ArenaBowl XXII, a 59-56 win over the San José SaberCats which continues the city's seemingly endless championship title drought. "It's been over 20 years since a sports team from this city won a national championship," said mayor Michael Nutter. "This arena league championship title just rubs salt in that wound." Locals are saying the damage to Philadelphia's morale and civic pride is equal to that done by Boyz II Men, the crack cocaine epidemic, and the acquisition of the Philadelphia Soul by New Jersey pop star Jon Bon Jovi.