Man Realizes He Has No Interests

May 29, 2009 | Issue 45•22

PALM COAST, FL—After attempting to fill out his personal profile on an Internet dating site, area resident Sam Stanger came to the conclusion Monday that he had no discernible interests, hobbies, or meaningful distractions to speak of. "I used to enjoy building birdhouses, but that was more than 20 years ago," Stanger said. "I don't know. TV, I guess?" Stanger reportedly plans to wander aimlessly around a local hobby shop this week until something sparks his interest.