Nation Secretly Hoping 9/11 Becomes A Day Off Soon

September 25, 2008 | Issue 44•39

WASHINGTON—After spending another anniversary of the 2001 terrorist attacks at work, many across the country have begun to secretly hope that the date will soon become a federally mandated day off. "We'll have it off in 25 years anyway, so why not just start now?" said a Des Moines–area citizen who wished to remain anonymous. "The people who tragically lost their lives on 9/11 deserve a day of remembrance. Also, I could really use some extra time to clean out my gutters." A small minority of Americans continue to hold out hope that the anniversary of the 2000 bombing of the USS Cole, in which 17 American sailors died, will someday result in a national half-day off.