Sasha Obama Orders Secret Service Agent To Stop Squirming During Makeover

October 30, 2009 | Issue 45•44

WASHINGTON—According to White House sources, first daughter Sasha Obama, 8, issued a direct order to Special Agent James Warren of the Secret Service yesterday, instructing the officer to refrain from squirming while he underwent a full makeover. "Hey, stop moving, lady," Sasha yelled as she augmented the 36-year-old former Navy Seal's physical appearance with a series of exotic rouges, eye shadows, and sparkly lip balms. "Yay! Pretty!" Moments after the 8-year-old accessorized the twice-decorated Warren with a variety of charm bracelets, he was summoned from the White House to accompany a group of visiting Syrian dignitaries.