The Onion

Ex-Girlfriend Flashback Leaves Man Paralyzed In Produce Aisle

July 31, 2002 | Issue 38•27

MITCHELL, SD— Alex Borland, 26, was paralyzed by a ginger-root-triggered ex-girlfriend flashback in the produce aisle of his local supermarket Monday. "Excuse me, sir... Excuse me," a fellow shopper told Borland, who was lost in memories of the day last December when he and then-girlfriend Jill Weston bought ginger root for an Oriental salad they later prepared at Weston's apartment. "I'm trying to get to the kiwis. Would you please move? Hello?"

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