The Onion

Drought-Ravaged NYC Institutes Alternate-Side-Of-Street Firefighting

June 5, 2002 | Issue 38•21

NEW YORK— Suffering from months of drought, New York City instituted alternate-side-of-the-street firefighting Monday. "On odd-numbered days, even-numbered buildings are not permitted to catch fire," Mayor Michael Bloomberg said at a press conference. "For those who fail to comply, we will not be able to put out your fire until the following morning. Your kind cooperation will help conserve water resources throughout the New York area."

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