The Onion

Scotland More Relaxed When Sean Connery Is Away

March 13, 2002 | Issue 38•09

EDINBURGH, SCOTLAND— The people of Scotland felt a little calmer and more at ease
Monday, when actor Sean Connery left the country to shoot a film in Morocco. "Don't
misunderstand, we are quite proud of Mr. Connery," Scottish First Minister Jim
Wallace said. "It's just that he's a rather intense fellow, and it's nice to have a
little time without him." Connery is expected to be away for seven weeks, giving the
nation the opportunity to hold a number of relaxed, Connery-free outdoor festivals.

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