The Onion

Late-Working CEO Calls Out For Coffee In Vain

July 16, 2003 | Issue 39•27

NEW YORK—While pulling a late-nighter at the office, Verizon Communications CEO Ivan Seidenberg repeatedly called out for coffee Tuesday despite being the only person in the building. "Would somebody please bring me some coffee?" shouted Seidenberg from his desk at approximately 11:30 p.m. "I need a cup of coffee—with two sugars. Dolores? Janice? Coffee?" Seidenberg alternated his requests for coffee with announcements that printer tray number two was out of paper.

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