mobile edition

At the AV Club: Best Music Of The '00s

Business

Bank Patrons Can Expect Same Poor Service After Merger

April 29, 1998 | Issue 33•16

ROANOKE, VA—A day after the bank's record-breaking $42 billion merger with First Federal of Virginia, spokespersons for Midlantic Trust held a press conference Monday to assure Midlantic customers that they can still expect the same atrocious service they have always received in the past. "Just because we've merged with First Federal doesn't mean we've changed," Midlantic president Harlan Shore said. "In the future, you can expect the same long lines, stand-offish tellers, and exorbitantly high loan rates you've come to count on here at Midlantic."

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »