Loser Can't Even Get Wife Pregnant

August 6, 2003 | Issue 39•30

MARSHFIELD, WI—After three years of trying, pathetic loser Ron Dreschel can't even get his wife Marisa pregnant, sources at the Marshfield Clinic reported Tuesday. "Ha, poor Ronny Dreschel can't even knock up his own old lady!" fertility counselor Derek Vojtik said. "What's the matter? Problems with sperm motility?" Dreschel was unavailable for comment.