New Low Stooped To
SEATTLE—Standards were lowered even further Sunday when a new, previously unimagined low was stooped to. "I am shocked and outraged," area resident Gwen Withers told reporters. "I mean, I consider myself a pretty tolerant person, but this is just... eurgghh!" Experts predict the new low will remain steady for a period of weeks, after which it will lower yet again as mankind continues its centuries-long slide into total barbarism.
More News Briefs
- « Christ To Wed Longtime Backup Singer (January 29, 1997)
- Clinton Clinton » (January 29, 1997)
Recent News»
-
College Freshman Makes Triumphant Return To High School
-
Entire Office Unsure What To Do About Bawling Coworker
-
New York Marathon Winner Tests Positive For Performance-Enhancing Horse
-
Congress Approves $500 Billion For Monument To Human Folly
-
United Airlines Exploring Viability Of Stacking Them Like Cordwood
-
House Haunted By Tortured Souls Of Current Residents
-
Group Of Popular Girls Reduces Nation To Tears
-
Phillies Hope To End 364-Day World Series Drought
