mobile edition

At the AV Club: AVQ&A

Local

First Date In Six Months To Be Last Date In Six Years

April 27, 2005 | Issue 41•17

ROSEBURG, OR—Although he is unaware of it, Jeff Schyler's date Friday will be his last until May 2011. "I'm so glad I finally got up the balls to ask out my friend's cute sister," said the 28-year-old, whose last date was in October. "I haven't been getting much action lately, but I have a really good feeling about this." Schyler plans to take his date to see Fever Pitch, hoping the romantic comedy will "get her in the mood," which it won't.

Meet Other Onion Readers

more personals »