Christina Aguilera Deeply Offended By Plate Of Iceberg Lettuce
-
Elderly Woman Casually Mentions Wish To Die
-
New Planet Discovered 400 Light Years Away From Public's Interest
-
Area Telemarketer Awash In Sea Of Human Misery
-
Las Vegas Casino Owners Announce Plans To Tear Down Don Rickles
-
Area 93-Year-Old Has Death-After-Life Experience
-
Sci-Fi Geek Only Hangs Out With Models


