Gore Mauled By Aquatic Mammal
12.16.97 | Issue 32•19
U.S. Soldiers To Be Equipped With Powerful Mandibles
01.21.98 | Issue 33•02
Cat Stevens Declares Jihad On James Taylor
Martini, Rossi Slain By Anti-Spumanti Extremists
12.09.97 | Issue 32•18
Last Beer In Six Pack Drunk With Plastic Rings Still Attached
05.15.02 | Issue 38•18
Christianity Celebrates One Billionth Unanswered Prayer
01.22.97 | Issue 31•02
Artist Starving For A Reason
03.01.00 | Issue 36•07
Previous
Next
Oprah Viewers Patiently Awaiting Instructions
The Onion is not intended for readers under 18 years of age.
© Copyright 2009 Onion Inc. All rights reserved.
more personals »