The Onion

Chapter 11 For Boston Archdiocese?

December 11, 2002 | Issue 38•46

Already reeling from sex-abuse charges, the Boston Archdiocese is now considering filing for bankruptcy. What do you think?

Asian Man

Don Althorp,
Cashier
"It's about time. I've been waiting for years to turn that downtown cathedral into a heavy-metal club."

Young Man

Rob Prince,
Truck Driver
"Oh, no—we've all got to get together to save Christianity!"

Old Woman

Rich Massena,
Developer
"That's going to be one hell of a yard sale."

Old Woman

Lynette Demuth,
Therapist
"Well, what exactly did they do with the $2 I paid that old lady for a pecan nut bar in 1977?"

Young Woman

Christine Kohl,
Florist
"Only a miracle can save them now. Fortunately, they get lots of those."

Black Man

Gary Williams,
Systems
Analyst

"So now they're financially bankrupt, as well?"

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