The Onion

The Future Of NASA

February 12, 2003 | Issue 39•05

In the wake of the Columbia tragedy, many are questioning the wisdom and necessity of NASA's manned-space-flight program. What do you think?

Old Woman

Maria Fortis,
Librarian
"Those astronauts did not die in vain. They gave their lives so that mankind could have cool footage of people floating upside-down in fully automated capsules."

Old Man

Kenneth King,
Systems Analyst
"Imagine all the good that could be done if we took those billions of dollars we're spending on NASA and gave it to the military."

Young Man

Bill Kuntz,
Auto Mechanic
"The space program should be scrapped. Fourteen deaths in 20 years? Imagine seeing those kinds of statistics in, say, the trucking industry."

Young Woman

Sheryl Auburn,
Homemaker
"If man were meant to fly in outer space, God would have given him a brain capable of figuring out the mathematics and physics necessary to do so."

,

Black Man

Marcus Edwards,
Civil Engineer
"Don't you think Bush is taking this whole wanting-to-be-Reagan thing a little far?"

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