The Onion

Europe, The U.S., And Saddam

September 18, 2002 | Issue 38•34

A number of America's top European allies, including France and Germany, strongly oppose any potential U.S. military action against Iraq. What do you think?

Old Man

Christopher
Massey
,
Systems
Analyst

"What? The rest of the world disapproves of America's militarism? Jesus, man, don't they know they can get bombed for that?"

Young Woman

Lisa Hatcher,
Graduate
Student

"Whatever will we do without the backing of the Spanish Armada?"

Asian Man

Bob Olsen,
Roofer
"C'mon, one shot at ousting Saddam every 10 years is only fair."

Black Man

Michael
Rossum
,
Lawyer
"It's not like we're asking our European allies to pitch in; we just want them to stand idly by and watch."

Young Man

Rick Edgerton,
Cab Driver
"Fuck Europe. I hate those sniffy little watered-down wimps. So what if they're absolutely right? Fuckin' horse-eaters."

Old Woman

Michelle Glover,
Dietitian
"It's good to see that after more than 50 years, America's shrewd piss-off-the-world strategy is finally starting to pay off."

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